waiting

We're waiting for the right house to come along, at the right price, with the right amount of bedrooms/bathrooms.
I'm actually surprised at myself at how relaxed I am about it. I mean, the temp. house we're in right now is over-crowded and messy, but knowing that it's temp. and there is no point in unpacking the unnecessary stuff has me totally chill. So it's messy, so it's a little dirty on the kitchen floor...in our old place (which we thought was more long-term) this would have got on my nerves because it's supposed to be "home sweet home" and my place of peace. It's not that I like the way it is here, but I do like the peace I have with its condition! : )
I can't think of much else to write about other than: food.
I made a corn and ground beef soup last night with curry! It turned out really yummy. The base was milk and sauteed onions, celery and apple (diced). Then I added the corn and beef, heated through, then seasoned with salt and curry.

goodnight.

sweetness

I took Isaiah to the 'hannah and samuel' (1 Samuel 2:18 "But Samuel, though he was only a boy, ministered before the Lord.") intercession set at ZHOP last week...he loves it! It's great for me, too, because he's pretty much free to roam the prayer room(burn energy!) and meet new kids, bang on drums, wave flags, etc. Yesterday he walked around almost the whole time and once he found the flags, put one in each hand and teeter-tottered around waving them happily. : )
It's also a sweet time to be in the presence of God. Yesterday as the set was starting I started singing to the Holy Spirit, "Come and minister to me..." and this incredible revelation came to me. It may or may not be revelation to you, but it was a huge eye-popper for me. : )
Basically, I realized that God comes to us FIRST. He has always come to us before we have come to Him.
>In fact, if He doesn't come and minister to me first, I cannot minister to Him.<
Sometimes when I'm in the prayer room I immediately try to jump into that place of ministering to the Lord before I have asked Him to come and minister to ME.
It isn't selfish for me to ask Him to come to me. What jumped out at me in that moment yesterday was the fact that this "me first" thing is actually a spiritual law. "We love Him because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
Follow my train of thought...
If God loved us first, than He gave first, He initiated.
We, in turn, loved back. BECAUSE He loved us. Not out of something we mustered up inside of ourselves. Not because we noticed Him off in the distance and thought He was worthy. The only thing that caught our attention enough was His consuming love, filling us, and then we could let it overflow back to Him.
What I was feeling yesterday as I muttered this little "come minister to me" song to myself was this deep, deep longing in my heart to be desired and pursued. To feel the presence of my Daddy sweeping in around me as I sat motionless on the floor. Doing nothing but asking.
So often I wake up and make a mental list of the things I should do that day, including how I should "minister to the Lord." Now I realize that if I would just sit on the floor and wait, I would receive, so that I could give.
I don't know...it sounds so simple once I say it, but it was so profoundly beautiful as it actually happened to me. Most of the time I'd say I spent being loved on by Jesus, and I gave a little back. But I'm okay with being outdone. : )

In other news:
Isaiah is growing more and more confident in his walking skills. He still teeters and looks a little drunk sometimes, but he is SO determined! I'm really enjoying it because I can let him walk more in public -- as opposed to crawling -- without worrying about dirty floors.

Levi and I have been brainstorming about places we want to take the Zay-man when he (Levi) has weekends off. So far...zoo, children's museum, park....?
It's such a fun game, being a little family. : )

time for a new post

We found out yesterday that we have to leave our condo and move down the street into another (very similar) condo. Except for: a) working dishwasher b) stairs
I am exceptionally excited about the dishwasher. I've been fantasizing about life with this magic machine.
I hope that the next person to live here is into striped walls, or at least that the owner gives them a chance when he renovates the house to sell. .... kinda doubt it though.
We watched "License to Wed" tonight, mostly because I wanted to and I wanted to because it had Jim from The Office in it. So not worth it. Besides, it's weird to see him paired with someone other than Pam. : )
Two major recommendations before I head off to bed:
a) Love and Respect (an awesome marriage book)
b)The Happiest Baby on the Block (how to soothe your newborn...I discovered it too late, but it looks amazing)

goodnight.

crank-shaft

A crank-shaft is what we call Isaiah when he wakes up too early from his nap.
Like today.
I have included a demo video so you can sympathize with me...he pretty much did this from 4:30 in the afternoon until he went to bed any time he didn't get his way.
Ahhhh, the hard life of a 1 year old.

Today Levi taped a line on the floor marking off a corner of the living room where his special stuff is. Or, Isaiah's "no fly zone." We point to the line on the floor and say "no" and sometimes he makes the right choice.

I love our little man and his long little hairs to death, so all of this is totally worth having a baby, but it is definitely a c h a l l e n g e some days...more than others. : )

Recently around town we've heard there is a rumor that Levi and I are expecting another baby. News to me! : ) I laughed so hard when I heard it, considering I *would* be the first to know, it's not exactly the kind of rumor you expect to get out without you starting it...

Sorry, I'm going to have to wait till Levi gets home to upload the video.
In the meantime, a true snapshot of the days emotions:

sugar baby

Anytime Isaiah is away from me for any length of time (ie like this mornging when daddy took him out for "manly time") I have a renewed sense of how precious he is to me!
When he comes home and reaches for me my heart melts all over the place.

I am eating a no-bake oatmeal and cocoa cookie. They are my favorite right now. We cut the sugar in half and they still taste amazing.

I'm on an exercise video kick right now. I've scoured my library and Amazon.com for belly-dancing fitness dvds. Alas, my library doesn't have any, so I settled for the "Mommy Baby Body Builders", "Cardio Pilates", and an intimidating tae-bo dvd.
I am really set on trying belly-dancing, though, and don't laugh! It's actually a really good workout for women, traditionally practiced (in part) to strengthen women for childbirth.

Oh my gosh!! I just got a call from a painter-friend who is hooking me up with an art show in North Charlotte. I have some "stuff" I've been making off-and-on for about a year or two now but this will my first actual setting-up-a-booth-and-selling event. : )
I hope to have stuff up on Etsy.com (the most addictive craft website ever) soon as well. But I'll let you know when that happens.

Ok then, I'm off to make something....

going home

you walk into the room/
there's a fire burning warm and bright/
open up the door/
there's a room where they're waiting for you/
and you will feel so at ease/
you will know you're/
home.
[credit: a song i heard once]

Tomorrow morning, in the barely light crispness of early fall, we'll climb into the car with the luggage and coax the doors to close up around us.
So we can drive. Home.
I have big plans of: smiling a lot, huggs, lounging on familiar couches, eating delicious food I didn't cook, holding hands with my ever-present husband, and letting everyone else entertain Isaiah. : )

baby talk

I've been struggling a lot recently with Isaiah's "demands." His little will seems to be making itself known more and more these last few weeks and it's been...challenging. : )
Needless to say, I'm realizing that I really have to search my heart here...what I mean is, when he does something irritating, like, start wailing the minute I put him down, I have to really examine my heart because my gut reaction is to be like, 'just be happy, be quiet, why are you bothering me with this loud noise?'
And sometimes he may just need to be quiet and happy without me holding him, this is true, but I want to make sure that my reaction to him isn't just frustration or...of course, pure selfishness!
Woah! Selfishness meets selfishness maybe? Weird, I never even thought of it that way until just now...
What I'm realizing is, when Isaiah fusses and I feel it is unnecessary that he fuss (ie he could be happy if he just wanted to!), if I am irritated just because he is inhibiting me from doing what I want to do than aren't I possibly just being selfish? And why is my selfishness more justifiable than his?
Maybe I'm the one who needs to just be quiet and happy! Ha!
But anyway, tonight as I was walking him to sleep in our dark bedroom for the second time in the last 30 minutes, I remembered my first post here and how much I really love to be "needed" by Isaiah. I was reminded, by God I'm sure!, that Isaiah really does need me to fall asleep soundly, to be well fed, to be happy and loved. And I sigh. With happiness and contentment.
It really is good to be needed. And it feels way better to see my relationship with him that way rather than feeling just pulled on and fussed at when I don't mean his "demands." Someone else reminded me today that crying IS his only means of communication, it's not like he can say please and thank you just yet. : )
So, I just needed to get that down in print...to help me remember, when I need to be reminded again...maybe tomorrow.

Other things....
Isaiah and I have found wild blackberries. A lot of blackberries! I think this makes me really happy because I found free food, and it brings back memories of picking berries as a kid.

I got to model two wedding dresses for a brand new wedding dress designer last week! I got my hair and make up done at a really sweet salon and then we took pictures in the gardens at UNC. So fun!

We've recently discovered that Isaiah LOVES animals-- at least dogs and cats. Today I took him to my friends house with a big orange cat and Isaiah scooted -as fast- as he could across the floor, grinning and grunting, trying to chase the cat down and grab it!

Autumn had her baby today!! and I was in the waiting room with Beka and Rebecka and it was so exciting. The night before we had all been hanging out, eating spicy food (Autumns idea to get her labor going ;) and talking about how there really is a baby right inside her belly, just about to come out!
Samuel John came out with dark hair and his mommies sweet eyes! I couldn't believe how much he looked like Autumn. After I held him and I went back to Isaiah I figured Samuel is about the size of one of Isaiah's legs. No joke. Samuel is only 6 lbs.

I hope to post pictures really soon!

Granola....and the rest of today

A few highlights of the day (oops, I saved this as a draft about a week ago, so it's a little old):

-This morning I took Isaiah's diaper off so he could air out after all night...you know. Anyway, he scooting along behind me as I dropped his wet diaper off in the laundry room, but as I turned to leave, he didn't follow. I turned off the light and beckoned him to follow, but he stayed in the shadows a few minutes before coming behind me. I went and sat on the floor in the next room to finish something I was working on...in comes little Zay...scoot, scoot, and I pick him up and...look down to see streaks of poop on my shirt.
So of course I check the floor...or rather the TRAIL he left on it!
Ah! He had stalled in the laundry room because he was leaving a big pile! (insert grossed out sound effects)
So, I cleaned him off in the tub, put a diaper on him, and then deposited him in his crib while I applied carpet cleaner to the floor. He's not in his crib very often, it's more like a play-pen then a place to sleep these days. So anyway, I'm cleaning the floor when it occurs to me that he may be able to stand up in his crib (he's been trying to for a few weeks).
Sure enough, I run in to find his little hands gripping the railing and his chubby little legs in a semi-confident stance. : )
"Oh baby!"
He grins at me and waves one arm in the air, then reaches for something behind him, looses his balance and goes down with a bang. He's so tough though, he just looks up at me, I smile, and he goes on with no tears!
I sat him close to the railing again, this time with it at it's full protective height (so he can't fall out) and he hoists himself right back up again. Naturally, being the classic first time mommy, I whip out the camera. : )
Once Levi loads them on the computer for me I'll have some up here.

That completes my Isaiah stories for the day. : ) (So if you're reading this because of him, the rest will not interest you!)

Other events:
-I found out that "heather" is in the Bible TWICE (King James Version) in Jeremiah, mentioned as a plant "heath" growing in the desert.

-My dad's pro-life ministry, Life Ministries, has a nearly-daily blog! Check it out at http://www.xanga.com/LIFEministries

It's 9.52pm and I'm so tired....goodnight!

this beautiful baby girl is alive...

"Here is the photo of Jennifer and her baby Portia, and my dad. (They are standing in front of Hillcrest Abortion Center)

Jennifer had scheduled the killing of her child in the spring of 2006 when we (the Life Ministries crew) called out to her outside the Hillcrest abortuary. She turned around and left without talking to us.

A week later she came back and again we called out to her, pleading for her baby’s life and offering her every kind of help. She walked over to us with arms folded across her chest and angrily said, "OK, I’m not going to do it, but I need help." Her voice went from anger to brokenness as the tears began to flow. Linda gave Jennifer a comforting hug as David (my dad) told Jennifer we would help with everything she needed.

Over the next few months we were blessed to help Jennifer through some tough times.

Yesterday, Wednesday-June 6, Jennifer’s dad drove her up beside us and Jennifer jumped out and got Portia out of the car seat and thanked us for helping her. David got to hold precious little Portia, born on December 11, 2006. While we see over 100 babies saved each year, we rarely have moments like this! Praise be to God for what He has done and this encouragement He brought our way!"
~
Doesn't this picture just make you cry? I fell apart looking at this precious little girl who's life was actually scheduled to be ended just a few months ago....
I can't get over how precious Portia is -- and SO adorable! and SO precious! !!

She can say, "My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." (ps. 139)

Amazing!!!!!

one of my heros

Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness.
-Mother Teresa
~
Congratulations to the Crumrine family! I see the goodness of God in Sara Naomi's face....wow! What a blessing!

You may have wondered what we are doing

This is an article by Lou Engle, the founder of one of the organizations we are linked with here. This is one of the reasons we are here...and a taste of what we are doing.... -heather

40 Days for 40 Years
There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens, and great revolutions for good or evil spring up in the vacuum created by these openings. In these historic moments key men and women and even entire generations risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing.

The rebellious generation of the 60’s seized its moment, and history crashed into the deep abyss of drug addiction, sexual immorality, hatred for authority, and a rejection of the law of God. 1967 was a culminating and defining moment in that rebellion. In 1967, 100,000 young people, aged 15-25 flocked to San Francisco to experience the hippie movement. This mass convergence was sparked by the hit song, San Francisco, (Wear a Flower in your Hair). Once there, they experimented with LSD, pot, casual sex and Eastern mysticism in what became known as the “Summer of Love.”

When these newly recruited Flower Children returned home at the end of the summer, they brought with them new styles and ideas, flooding the cities of the US and Europe with a message that opposed authority and scorned conservative morals. This counterculture rebellion was fueled by music and art, and it rapidly shifted global culture.

For 40 years we have been falling headlong into a black moral morass in America and all through the west. We are reaping the waves of destruction in every sector of our post Christian society. Can America survive another 40 years? We are declaring NO! A thousand times NO! Unless a massive spiritual shift occurs at this moment our children will live under an antichrist system and Godless enculturation that will bring about the demise of America, as we know it.

But God has a prescription for such a massive shift and it is revealed in the power of the great transitional 40-day fast. God in His sovereign control over the parade of history delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. Longing to release a moral code that would give foundations for righteousness, for time and eternity, God summoned Moses to a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai. In that fast all of history changed and the law of God was delivered from heaven to earth. And if America is going to return to God it must recover that law again as its foundation for truth.

Elijah, at the height of Jezebel’s cultic dominion over Israel fasted 40 days, broke the spell of Jezebel off of his own life and received a mandate to anoint the next generation. That fast unleashed a movement that toppled Jezebel’s regime of hell, which perpetrated the destruction of family, the killing of innocent children, the silencing of the voice of God’s people and the widespread culture of sexual immorality. The fruit of that fast culminated in the utter destruction of Baal worship in Israel.

Also in the fullness of time the glorious gospel era was born when Jesus fasted 40 days and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Clearly the 40-day fast is heaven’s great transitional prescription, moving nations from failure to fulfillment of promise. Is it any surprise that when Jesus was to enter into His great sacrifice where death would be swallowed up in victory, Elijah and Moses appear with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. All three of them were together as the 40-day fasters. They presided over the great transitions of history.

When the Israelites were poised to move into the Promise Land, spies were sent out for 40 days. When they returned carrying an evil report, a whole generation was infected with unbelief and they turned their back on the Promise Land. God’s sentence on that generation was, “And your sons shall be wanderers in the wilderness for 40 years and bear the brunt of your infidelity until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land 40 days, for each day you shall bear your guilt one year, namely 40 years, and you shall know my rejection.” (Numbers 14:33-34) It was 40 years of judgment for 40 days failure.

Conversely the great prophet Ezekiel received a 40-day prayer assignment for a 40-year failure of Judah’s iniquity. “Lie again on your right side, then you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Judah, 40 days I have laid on you a day for each year.” (Ezekiel 4:6) It was clearly 40 days prayer for 40 years of failure.

When Jesus fasted 40 days and was tempted of the devil he quoted from the book of Deuteronomy saying, “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” And again, “You shall not tempt the Lord thy God” and again, “You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you worship.” Jesus in His victory over Satan was quoting the book of Deuteronomy, the portion of scripture delivered by Moses to the generation who failed in the desert. Jesus in His 40-day fast was clearly identifying with that passage of scripture and that generation that came out of Egypt. As an intercessor in His 40-day fast he was fulfilling what a generation had failed in for 40 years.

40 years are up! Could the church of America in a 40-day fast deliver a nation out of a 40-year curse? We have scriptural precedent to believe for such a turning! Therefore, we are trumpeting a call to 40 days of fasting like Moses, like Elijah, like Ezekiel, and like Jesus. We must cry for mercy for 40 days of prayer with fasting for the past 40 years of iniquity, divorcing God in America, embracing a culture of sexual immorality, hedonism, materialism, abortion, and the rejection of Christ in the public place. But we are also calling for 40 days of fasting and prayer for the greatest outbreak of the kingdom power, in signs and wonders, and spiritual awakening in America that will collide with this present darkness and topple its cultural dominion over our people. Thousands went on 40-day fasts in 1946 and in 1947 the great healing revivals broke out. In 1948 the latter rain outpourings began. Bill Bright and Billy Graham’s ministries were born at the same time, and Israel became a nation. Could it be that the 40-day fast preceded this explosion of power by the Spirit? After Jesus’ 40-day fast the scripture says He returned in the power of the Spirit. Yes the promise of Joel 2:28 is that after the fast I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…

40 years ago in 1967 the Jesus Movement broke out, a youth revival starting on the streets that swept across the country, exploding in college campuses and coffee houses. People were being saved everywhere. Now 40 years later we are crying, do it again God, way beyond the Jesus movement!

In 1967, in a war and obviously by the supernatural hand of God, Jerusalem was taken and once again brought under the control of the state of Israel. This was a monumental signpost in the shifting of eras. The dispensation of the times of the Gentiles was now beginning to shift to the times when Jerusalem will become the last days focus for God’s activity in the earth. For 40 days we are joining Israel in a 40-day fast crying out to God that they would see there Messiah and that they would begin to receive their greatest spiritual awakening since the days of the Apostles.

Brothers and sisters, moments like these come only once in a lifetime. To miss such a moment could be to miss the purpose of God for a generation. The generation that refused to cross over the Jordan did not know that they had only one day to make the decision, and missing that day meant 40 years in the desert.

Even now we are receiving reports that other countries are calling 40-day fasts. Could we be in a Global 40-day season of fasting like Jesus to see a global outbreak of light when great darkness is covering the earth? Beginning the evening of May 28th we are calling 2 generations to 40 days of fasting and prayer culminating on July 6th to prepare us for 7-7-07, the perfection of time, in a massive national gathering of fasting, intercession, repentance, and worship declaring we want to remarry the Lord. We want to cross over into the promise land of national revival. We want to break this 40-year curse. May thousands seek God in water, juice, and Daniel fasts from May 28th through 7-7-07, The Call Nashville.

What would happen in America if for 40 days we sealed the electronic cultural sewer that flows nightly into our living rooms and spent our strength seeking the Lord? What if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers across our nation fasted for 40 days repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, pornography, addiction to food and entertainment, and materialism? What if they prayed daily for their spiritual and physical children to see them converted to Christ and freed from rebellion, from addictions, depression, and suicide? What if the young generation fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, media addiction, rebellion toward there parents, believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit would come upon there lives?

Moses fasted 40 days and mentored a spiritual son named Joshua, which means the Lord saves. Elijah fasted 40 days and threw his mantle on a double portion son Elisha, which means the Lord saves. And John the Baptist fasted in the desert and prepared the way for a double portion son named Jesus, which means the Lord saves. Jesus fasted 40 days and unleashed the apostolic glory of the eternal Son of God into the earth. What If we are preparing a generation for the greatest day of salvation in history? And so, what if tens of thousands of both generations fast together and gather on 7-7-07 for The Call Nashville in LP Field, to cry out to God in a Joel 2 moment for great national returning to the Lord?

The parade of history has brought us into a profound generational landmark, and a great vacuum has opened again. If the church does not seize this moment Muslims will! Antichrist rage will! Sexual perversion will! Anarchy will! But now is the time for key men and women, even an entire generation to risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point which determines which way the door will swing in America and in the nations of the earth. Its 40 Days or 40 Years! Seize the Day!

We will be launching this fast with a worldwide simulcast on God TV on May 26th. For all information on the 40-day fast and The Call Nashville please visit www.fastandpray.com and www.thecall.com.

Blog about Isaiah

Recently Isaiah has been scooting all over the place...just about as fast as his toes can push and his arms can pull.


I am praising God we've figured out a "sleep rhythm" that flows well. If I stay home it works best (meaning= he sleeps more and more predictably) but there is room for flexibility when we go out. He's a really joyful little man anyway, but when he's had his nap-- it's like woah! Happy! Needless to say, this is a big part of why I'm glad we've finally found this "schedule."

Isaiah's favorite spot in the living room right now is UNDER daddy's rolling desk chair. I get a little crazy when I think about his fingers right by the wheels...but alas, he has to be by daddy! He loves to bang away on "his" keyboard (the one that's not plugged into anything) and drool on the cases of video games. Of course cords are fun to explore and paper is the best for munching. : )

Speaking of munching, we're not ready to really "feed" him anything but mama's milk right now, but I've started letting him taste little bits of mushy foods. Like bananas, sweet potato, bread, watermelon....he has been watching us so closely when we eat, always begging with his eyes, so it's so exciting to finally give him some of it! Hahaha. UNTIL he actually tastes it. I think every single thing I've put in his mouth has merited a super grossed-out face. Most everything comes back out onto his chin except, I think, banana, apple and mango.

Everywhere we take him he gets attention for his smiles and intense eye contact. Everyone is always saying how joyful he is or what a good baby he is and, of course, "I bet he never cries!" : )

Isaiah was already born with 15 biological aunts and uncles but in this community here at TheCause it's like he has twice as many adopted relatives. : ) The interns especially are always playing with him or asking to hold him. And of course he looooves it!!

He has also been prayed and prophesied over that he will be a JOYful prophet in the spirit of Elijah from Malachi 4:6 "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. 6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

The same man who spoke this over Isaiah added, "and his joy will never be taken from him." These words are such treasures in my heart....I knew from the womb that he was a joy! Isn't that incredible? God has such insane destiny for each of us...
Also, just going along with that prophesy, when we were in Nashville a few months ago for a Pre-Call Rally, a complete stranger walked up to me while I was holding Isaiah and asked, "Is his name Isaiah or Elijah?" !

Whether you have heard someone speak your destiny over you like this or not, I promise you God has spoken one just as profound over your life since the day you were conceived.
"My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:15&16

TheCall Video

The Heart of George MacDonald

"I do live expecting great things in the life that is ripening for me and all mine -- when we shall have all the universe for our own, and be good merry helpful children in the great house of our Father.
Then, darling, you and I and all will have the grand liberty where with Christ makes free -- opening His hand to send us out like white doves to range the universe."

(to his daughter)

Three Wonderful Things

1. When I mess up, I feel guilty. I made a mistake...but now I know that SHAME is not from God because shame says, "I am the mistake."
Repeat: I am not a mistake. There isn't anything wrong with ME.
So practically, this means that my screw ups are forgivable, and God is free to keep teaching me...

2. Nothing Isaiah ever does will change my love for him. Not just because he's cute and I get warm fuzzies when I'm with him. I am making a CHOICE to love him, and that choice is unconditional.
However, the way he acts, what he says, how he treats me, etc. will affect how much I enjoy being with him, hanging out...etc. See what that means?
God's love for us doesn't change based on how much we obey Him or how well we love Him back. Nothing we do can change His deep, foundational love toward us!
But if we never talk to Him, disobey, etc. than this will affect our relationship for the worst. I can't really say how much God "enjoys hanging out with me" but from my parental perspective, I truly believe that His heart is touched -- either wounded or ministered to -- by our actions and choices. CrAzy!

3. Isaiah, Levi, my family, friends, chocolate, shopping, the ocean....God's been showing me how all these things are gifts for my enjoyment BUT He is for my satisfaction. Deep down, my soul satisfaction, even my most prominant daily pleasures, can only be from Him. And I'm not just speaking from a theological perspective. I FEEL the void inside of me, and when I run to gobble up a chocolate bar or watch my favorite movie, I can tell I'm just numbing the ache. And after I'm left with the candy wrapper or the rolling credits, the ache comes back and I feel like my best distractions merely scraped at the sides of my inner void.
God is just slowly teaching me this lesson, but it's such a challenge! I mean, this very moment I'm craving His presence, to be filled to overflowing with Him. I know that I really have no idea what the "pleasures of God" really entails, but I'm going after it!!