32 weeks

This came in my email update for week 32 (as of Friday):


hooray!! so cutesy!



This outfit made me feel amazing. Monique gave me the idea...






Isn't it adorable? : )


You know what 32 weeks means....8 weeks to go!

Virginia Vacation 08

So, we took the trek to VA (6 hours) in our "new" vw van! Levi fixed it, like a genius, and we enjoyed every minute of the windy ride.


Next time, I'm bringing a serious spandex headband.


Very nice!!


Picked this up from the Bethune grandparents.


He LOVES it.



I guess I didn't take very many pictures...bummer.
But here's a lot of us girls at the annual Crane Family Reunion.


Ok Isaiah was definitely the best dressed man at the whole thing.
I bought the shoes, but otherwise, all was given. And it's all baby gap
and ralph lauren. woohoo!


My mom said that anytime I'm pregnant on vacation week
I get a free pedicure. Yipee!


After vacation, out at my parent's house.


The little wooden chair behind Zay
was won by Josiah when he was two at the
county fair. : )


THIS is my baby brother!
And an amazing castle he built.






The drive home was cool and uneventful.
Cookies.


No wait, this picture was eventful.
I am super proud of it!!

June pictures of Isaiah

This is his new swim shirt and knock-off crocs. Just in time for the beach...





He's very proud of them, especially the shoes. He can put them on all by himself.


Lovin' his sippy cups.


New jungle-gym in the backyard!!


From the top.

Today's tears

Today is a centering sort of day.
I nursed Isaiah down to sleep last night, and then I held him in all of his peacefulness as tears streamed down my face.....Amy is gone.
I woke up this morning with no desire to go about my "routine" but I tried to because Isaiah was hungry and he didn't know any different. On our walk I felt so angry and disjointed - like I was flying in 48 different directions and I couldn't find myself.
Finally around 9am I started crying again and left Isaiah with Levi. Upstairs in our bedroom I wept and mourned as wave after wave hit me. I can't really describe it with words - it is deep sadness.
I feel deep peacefulness all over me with each breath in, and out. I can't control this. I have to let it out. And in doing so I can feel, again, my center....Who I am, what I'm really feeling, what I really need in each individual moment. You know what I mean if you've ever been sitting in traffic with a calmness radiating from within you. You've drawn on a "deep source" beyond yourself.
Last night I could see in my spirit that Abba (Daddy) was holding me, rocking me, and crying tears of remorse with me. He never meant for this to happen. He never wanted to see me go through this. He held my face and looked deep into my eyes, "I'm so sorry...."
And I knew that His heart is anguished with mine.
I've heard people say "He counts every tear" or something to that effect. For the first time I really feel that - the real empathy of His heart!
It touches the deepest part inside of me when I know Him this way....it's like I was going through withdrawal in those frustrating, disjointed moments....it's good to be connected again.