potty break

I'm going to the women's conference at Morningstar this weekend along with lots of other beautiful women -- including Cathy M, Jane & Mary Z!! God is being so awesome here!!
Since coming back home I haven't been very emotional... I think it's a mix of distance, some numbness (not in a bad way, but just adjusting slowly) as well as peace from the Lord. But during every worship set today the tears came. The Lord is washing my mind with His reality of Amy. He is reminding me that she dances and worships with abandonment before Him. That she is free.
Free. Like He is making me. Free from pride that keeps me from my destiny, free from confusion that clouds His revelation.
For instance, since having Isaiah, a lot of things have changed (obviously)! One of those being the amount of time and "focus" I can devote to specific worship/preaching at conferences like this one this weekend. Sometimes I would find myself kind of resenting Isaiah's behavior for making me leave early or miss parts or leave when worship was "really good."
But tonight I felt this amazing breakthrough as I took Isaiah to the bathroom during this beautiful worship song and this intense atmosphere of freedom. What I realized was that I am channeling the heart of God as a mother to my son when I take any time necessary to be with my him and meet his needs! I realized that I was experiencing how God feels about me in that He loves to take "time out" to meet my needs whenever and wherever! I am not "missing out" on anything spiritual as I invest in my son and instill in him just how precious he is to me and the Lord!