Today has been hard

I know Isaiah has his reasons. Maybe he misses da (actually I know that's true, but I don't know if it's a reason), maybe his mega-molars are trying to break through, or maybe he senses an upcoming change in the family....
Anyway, he must have some good reasons for the daily fits- falling on the floor kicking- and the regression from coming quickly when I call, from sleeping through the night, from taking solid naps....
But regardless, we are still pre-english communication and so I have little way of knowing what's going on in his little heart and a PRETTY good idea of what's going on in mine.
Some frustration, some disappointment, some anger?, some confusion, and mostly a lot of impatience. And yet over all of this goes love....
I was reading the other day about how God did all this amazing, amazing stuff for the Israelites but a few years down the road they forgot. Or at least they didn't remind themselves consciously, I'm betting it was still somewhere in their memory.
It jogged my memory, though, of some of the really incredible things He's done for me, like Isaiah. I remember the day I first felt I was pregnant. I asked God if I would have babies and I felt Him smile at me as if to say, "You don't have to worry about that."
Suddenly I had this warm sensation that I was holding new life inside of me.
Five days later the pregnancy test said PREGNANT and I cried.
Months and months later, what felt like so long to us, Levi touched our baby for the first time as he came slip-sliding out. Isaiah's first literal touch from another human being was his daddy's hands.
All these things I am so incredibly grateful for.
And at the end of a day like today, when my first baby, a complete little piece of humanity formed from the love of me and my man, falls asleep in my arms and I look at his sweet angel face, I remember.
And I feel love.

my babies

This is 36 weeks! (or somewhere near there)


Isaiah had a fork in his hand.... it's unrelated. : P


Look we can do the same scrunchy face!


He does this now whenever he knows we're taking
a picture. *cheese*

Life in Pictures

From most recent events to not as recent:
(enjoy!)


Getting in some last kisses while waiting in check-in line at the airport.


The HopeTakesFlight team getting all the details straight.
Levi's bag weighed 1.5 lbs less than the limit.


I thought this was a funny view.
I'm holding Zay and I can barely see my feet
below my belly....He doesn't understand
when I won't hold him, but it's getting pretty
hard to maneuver two babies these days.


"Chapter one: daddy's picture in his passport.
Next page....the stamp from my first trip out of the USA."


Last but not least, Muffin at 35 weeks.
Hanging out and probably the most comfy of us
all right now. : )


This is my newest creation.
A tote bag from a pillow case
with a quilted kite and real string
appliqué.


Not the picture I want to post in my shop,
but it gives you an idea of what I've been working on!
It's about size 10-12 girls. Stretchy waist band and
raw-edge hem.


Isaiah in his Peter Pan's "Lost Boy" costume!
I made the pants for him and rubbed cocoa powder
on his shirt and head band for dirt. I think he looked
awesome. ?


He's really figuring out what posing for a picture
is these days.


Leaving for Michael's bday party!


Here's our playgroup. All the kids are
in costumes, willingly or unwillingly,
to celebrate Michael's (to my right)
1st birthday.





After the group shot.


Just a random day getting ready for our morning walk.
I had to get a picture of our matching shoes, though.

That's a lot of what we've been up to the last few weeks. Other than the norm.
I go back down to Rock Hill for my midwife appointment and another ultrasound on Monday. I'm not too excited about the drive (its like 25 minutes) but thankfully it's only about 6 more weeks! I might even try and skip out of a few appointments. : )

It is now 8:55pm, Isaiah's asleep and the kitchen is relatively clean. I think I'm going to head upstairs maybe go to bed early.

3 and 1/2 hours to Delhi, India

Levi left for London yesterday. If I'm doing all the time change calculations correctly, he's now in the air between London and Delhi. ! I wonder what all that flying feels like....what he's doing. Hopefully sleeping a lot. : )
Anyway, the day before the HopeTakesFlight team's flight left we all went up to this little retreat house on a farm half way to Raleigh (where they flew from). It was really sweet and chill and nice to just hang out. The next morning Levi, Isaiah and I left early for the airport to try and do all the customs paperwork for his camera equipment. It was a HUGE headache. We got the the airport, Levi carted all his stuff in, and while Isaiah and I sat with the stuff, Levi ran around talking to about a half dozen different people trying to figure out where the customs office was. I kept watching him go out one door and come in another, each time with this "who knows?" look on his face. Apparently he got a different story every time!
Meanwhile, Isaiah was a handful because he hadn't taken a nap. The only thing that he wanted to do was either a) run around or b) throw his ball around. Neither of which were good for an airport, obviously. So that was hard....it was not what we had been hoping for. We wanted to spend some fam time together before Levi left watching the airplanes take off, but alas, there were no windows facing the runway that we could find! : (
Ok, so the final straight scoop on the customs office: it was located about 10 minutes away from the airport! Once Levi found that out he rushed us over there and then *phew* sat in a calm little waiting room filling out a few sheets of paper and letting the officers inspect his stuff. It took about 15 minutes. It was such a nice change from the busy airport. Isaiah played with a ball the whole time. : )
Back at the airport the rest of the team met up with us and we all sat around for a while. Isaiah was being mischievous and entertaining everyone. Sigh. Time to go home. Levi walked us out to the car. It was like the first taste of missing him and I felt torn.
Deborah, who had come along as my angel : ), left with Isaiah and I to help with the driving.

I'm so glad they are on their way!!

So much of this adventure is new to me....the preparation, the leaving, and now the "holding down the fort" or whatever you call it when I'm at home with Isaiah for 2 weeks.
The next few days I plan to just rest. Isaiah NEEDS to catch up on his sleep if we are going to remain sane and happy people! ; ) I'm exhausted right now. A nap dawns on the bright horizon. "Hope Takes a Nap"

I'm sooo excited to talk to Levi with Skype. I don't know how soon that will happen and I have yet to find the charger for the audio head set, but I can't wait!

Ok that's all.

Levi's leaving for India in 2 days

It's been a while.
What's been happening....
-Bekah moved back to Fort Mill. I first met her as an intern with TheCall when we moved here over a year ago. She moved away and now she's back, working for Bound4Life. Happy!

-Levi is running around like crazy to get ready to leave for India. I'm trying not to think too hard about how much I'll miss him! I think the time will go by quickly, though, and I am not anxious about it at all, I just know I'll miss him. :/ There are so many, many wonderful friends here who keep offering to help me while he's gone, it's so awesome.

-ALIAS has been the new tv show series around here. Meaning, at least 4 or 5 episodes in a row run on the weekends. I don't have time to watch them all so I end up catching random dramatic scenes while making food for Isaiah in the kitchen or something.

-I talked with the lady from Morningstar who's been like a counselor for Levi and I since Amy died. It was really good. It's nice to know someone will check up on me and specifically ask me about that specific topic.

-I'm really tired and it's past my bed time soooo I'll stop, but I wanted to post at least *something* since it's been a while. Goodnight!

I have a short attention span.

I can't really sit for a whole movie anymore.
I think Isaiah's short attention span has worn off on me because for months and months after he was born (actually, to this day) I couldn't sit through a whole movie with him because he'd fuss or start needing attention. Of course that makes sense, I'm not upset about it, but I can tell it's affected me. I don't expect to sit for 2 hours staring in the same direction and so when the opportunity presents itself I find myself struggling to focus after about 45 minutes.
That's just a random thought from Heather at 10:10pm Sunday night.
I'm eating maggie moo's ice-cream. It's chocolate/vanilla with cookie chunks -- really good. I've been having some reflux lately, the baby is definitely putting more pressure on my stomach. I hear dairy products sometimes help. That's my best excuse for ice-cream at this time of night... *sigh*.
So here's another random thought: I once heard that immigrant women (to America) considered themselves very fortunate if they DIDN'T have to go to work outside the home. It was like a status thing if you could afford to stay at home and be a full-time homemaker. Kind of an awesome way to think about it, huh? But it totally makes sense!
It reminds me once again how awesome my husband is, not only for always supporting me, but for doing so without question. I love you, babe.
It also shows how silly the whole materialism thing is that it would drive women away from the beauty of giving life to a home and a family only for cold cash. And yet in a lot of ways I see this mindset actually turning in on itself as the all important money is then spent on a bigger house, nicer car, landscaping, hiring an interior decorator, etc.
I'm totally not judging anybody who works outside the home, I have several friends who do out of necessity. I'm just upset with the *mindset* and spirit behind materialism and some so-called feminism that actually screws up the true beauty and essence of womanhood.
Anyway. : P

Here are some new pictures! : )


Isaiah LOVES babies! He asked to hold
Jedidiah, my friend's 2 month old.


I had to watch him every second or he would've
covered little Jed in kisses.


Same day, sporting his favorite converses.



Another love of his, the guitar.
And nudity.


4th of July! First baseball game!!


He was SO good. He stayed with us in the
same seats for 3 hours (this is a huge record!).


Snacking on a pretzel.


Watching the ball?

Mind Reading

Sometimes I wish I could read my husband's mind. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to read people's minds when you need to?
I mean, I'm convinced that most of the time people are not thinking what we assume they are thinking.
So, I am trying to change my way of thinking and assuming. Like assuming general goodwill and kindness. So much crap happens because people think other people are judging them, you know? Like highschool cliques and way beyond that.... Think about it.

If you really believed that everyone around you liked you and saw you like Jesus sees you wouldn't you be different?

Realistically, I guess we won't ever read minds, and there are other forces at work that draw out the worst in people, and they do judge each other so....
It's also important to not chalk up our value to what people think. Basically, not caring what anyone thinks.

And you hear that a lot, right? -- "don't care what people think" -- and usually it does nothing to help our confidence because it's not a switch you can just turn off in your head.

I'm pretty sure that every human being wants to feel worth *something* and honestly, something really valuable.

So what I'm getting at is that if we can't base our coolness on other people than we have to get it from somewhere else, and somewhere else that is so big that what people think subconsciously just begins to slip out of our minds, off our backs, etc.

I just get really fed up with those "feel good about yourself"messages that scream "Just don't listen to everyone else!!" when:

a) I'd have to listen to them (isn't that an oxymoron?) to start not listening to people

b) I want, need, crave to be beautiful/successful/loved and I can't get that from chanting to myself, "I'm beautiful, Heather, believe me, you're a doll" you know? : )

I honestly don't know what it looks like to 100% really not be impressed by the thoughts of other people because you believe so strongly that the One being who made everything perfectly is actually personally interested in you and tells you exactly how valuable you are.
But I want to.