1. When I mess up, I feel guilty. I made a mistake...but now I know that SHAME is not from God because shame says, "I am the mistake."
Repeat: I am not a mistake. There isn't anything wrong with ME.
So practically, this means that my screw ups are forgivable, and God is free to keep teaching me...
2. Nothing Isaiah ever does will change my love for him. Not just because he's cute and I get warm fuzzies when I'm with him. I am making a CHOICE to love him, and that choice is unconditional.
However, the way he acts, what he says, how he treats me, etc. will affect how much I enjoy being with him, hanging out...etc. See what that means?
God's love for us doesn't change based on how much we obey Him or how well we love Him back. Nothing we do can change His deep, foundational love toward us!
But if we never talk to Him, disobey, etc. than this will affect our relationship for the worst. I can't really say how much God "enjoys hanging out with me" but from my parental perspective, I truly believe that His heart is touched -- either wounded or ministered to -- by our actions and choices. CrAzy!
3. Isaiah, Levi, my family, friends, chocolate, shopping, the ocean....God's been showing me how all these things are gifts for my enjoyment BUT He is for my satisfaction. Deep down, my soul satisfaction, even my most prominant daily pleasures, can only be from Him. And I'm not just speaking from a theological perspective. I FEEL the void inside of me, and when I run to gobble up a chocolate bar or watch my favorite movie, I can tell I'm just numbing the ache. And after I'm left with the candy wrapper or the rolling credits, the ache comes back and I feel like my best distractions merely scraped at the sides of my inner void.
God is just slowly teaching me this lesson, but it's such a challenge! I mean, this very moment I'm craving His presence, to be filled to overflowing with Him. I know that I really have no idea what the "pleasures of God" really entails, but I'm going after it!!
who i am
- my name is heather.
- I like my life. I have an amazingly animated little boy, a precious darling baby girl and a husband who helped me make them, among the other wonderful things he does. My kitchen has a huge pantry. I like that. My sister committed suicide early 2008, you'll see several references to my journey grieving Amy here.
Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.
-Mother Teresa
Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.
-C.S. Lewis
blog followers
It started here....
with a kiss.
Enter ISAIAH!
And we make a fam-erly.
Enter Isaiah's hair....
It grew and grew. 10/07.
Summer 08
At the wise age of 19 months.
And now there is another baby...
Happy days!
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psalm 94.17-19
If the LORD had not been my help,
My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.
18If I should say, "My foot has slipped,"
Your lovingkindness, O LORD, will hold me up.
19When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
Your consolations delight my soul.
3 comments:
Wow. So, um... keep writing, if that's the level of profundity we can expect. Wait, you know what, just keep writing. It's healthy. Peace! :)
One of my favorite scriptures is in Psalms: "My soul, wait silently for GOD ALONE, for my expectation is from HIM." He has been revealing this to me as well:) I miss you!
So, I've been reading a little bit from the most recent post towards this, your first post and decided I would start here and read to the present time.
Does that make sense?
I'm really enjoying not just reading, but absorbing. I hope you don't mind.
Jesus oozes out of you. It's so easy to see. And I am sure it is an immense blessing to your family and the people that come into contact with you on a daily basis.
What compelled me to make this comment, however, was that I am re-learning the need for finding fulfillment solely in Christ. That even if for a fleeting moment I find any relationship with any person fulfilling it will not give me the worth as a person and the ability I need to get me through life's struggles the way God's unending love will. But more than just that, I'm learning that He is not going to force that on me. That I have to give up those other people (or things) and ask Him to be my main source.
I know this is a lot for a comment. But I'm excited about it! And I thought it might be joyful for you to hear.
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