the ebb and flow

my corner of the internet is moving!

2009-03-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all: I'm moving to heatherbethune.com
I've got a WordPress account now and heatherbethune.com will open up that blog.
It has all my old posts and comments-- how cool is that? Of course it's all thanks to my brilliant hubbster who knows so much more about all this than I!
Check it out, and if you're subscribed to me, make the switch because this ol' gal is going to be non-existent in a couple of weeks.

P.S. I ate at Sonny's Bar-B-Q today. It was a mouth-watering, comforting Southern experience. Try it.

who am I to be brilliant?

2009-03-15T15:27:00.001-07:00

“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." NELSON MANDELA, 1994 INAUGURAL SPEECH

just being the cutesy baby in the world. that's all. that's my main ajenda.

2009-03-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time.

2009-02-23T12:47:00.001-08:00

mmmm baby booty.

2009-02-17T16:15:00.001-08:00

I love how my babies love eachother.

2009-02-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

we're going shopping!

2009-02-05T11:37:00.000-08:00

hanging out with the fam in va.

2009-02-05T04:27:00.000-08:00

my blog needs a face-lift.

2009-01-26T09:00:00.001-08:00

....or at least some Botox. ; )
Check back soon, hope to have some changes all over.

brace yourself. this is annointed with hope....

2009-01-23T15:51:00.001-08:00

this just in.

2009-01-22T08:16:00.000-08:00

Washingtonpost.com

Lou Engle

Hope, Change for the Unborn

Two days ago our nation's first African American president, Barak Obama, was escorted onto a regal platform before the masses of America. He put his hand on the Bible (the actual Bible Abraham Lincoln used for his oath) and then briefly made his inaugural oath to protect the Constitution.

Borrowing from the theme of President Obama's inauguration, it seems that today we have a new Abraham Lincoln and are on the brink of witnessing, in all its glory, "A New Birth of Freedom" for America. It is amazing how we can honor the heroes of justice in our past and stand in the very shadows of their memorials but not learn the lessons that history taught.

Engraved on the walls of Lincoln's monument are the words of his second inaugural address, "Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said 'the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.'"

Abraham Lincoln most certainly drew his inspiration from Numbers 35:33 ("So you shall not pollute the land where you are, for blood defiles the land and no atonement can be made for the land, for the blood that is shed on it except by the blood of him who shed it") as well as Genesis 9:5-6 ("Surely for your life blood I will demand a reckoning... Whoever sheds mans blood, by man his blood shall be shed, for in the image of God he made man.")

Lincoln came to understand that the Civil War was God's divine discipline upon a people and a nation who refused to live according to God's laws. Lincoln was aware that the Civil War was a day of reckoning for the horrific injustice of slavery and the shedding of innocent blood done in the name of economic gain and racial oppression. If what Lincoln came to conclude was true, and if 600,000 men died on the battlefields of the Civil War for the blood of slavery, what will it mean if God brings a day of reckoning for the shed blood of conservatively 48 million aborted babies since Roe v. Wade 1973?

If Abraham Lincoln was right in his assessment of the Civil War, then the shedding of innocent blood is a most serious offense against the One who creates, sustains, and loves life. Anyone who has seen the graphic pictures of abortion know that this is a shedding of blood and blood does not make a distinction between an unborn person and a born person. This issue of blood takes abortion way out of the realm of choice.

So now, while proclaiming a new day of freedom, President Obama has promised to sign the Freedom of Choice Act, and in so doing would be ruling exactly for that which President Lincoln stood against, the lifeblood of the slave. This is a harrowing moment in American history. While Obama has promised to make abortion rare, the FOCA will remove every restriction of abortion from conception to possibly born alive infants. To remove law is to remove restraint. Law restrains evildoing. It can't change hearts but it can prevent many from shedding innocent blood.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that he couldn't keep a person from hating him but through legislation could keep him from beating him. The laws of God are good for society and for the well being of its people. The passing of FOCA would be an act of lawlessness in the highest degree and will only increase and magnify the tragedy of abortion to children, to mothers and society.

The Constitution that governs this nation was founded on the belief that no man's freedom can come at the cost of another and all men deserve to live free of repressive edicts, fear of death, and tyrannical oppression.

And so we go on refusing to learn from history demanding our own choice and our own freedoms at the cost of the most innocent of all, the unborn child. We call on President Obama to listen to the voice of thousands of Christians who voted for him under the impression that he would make abortion rare. Live up to your word for the sake of America.

Lou Engle is co-founder of The Call, an evangelical effort to gather young adults to pray and fast for revival. In 2004, Engle planted the first Justice House of Prayer in Washington, D.C. JHOPs have emerged in San Francisco, Boston, New York and San Diego.

Posted by Lou Engle on January 21, 2009 12:46 PM

feeding the geese and ducks his stale animal crackers.

2009-01-16T21:56:00.001-08:00

goodmorning. we are on the mend!

2009-01-05T05:24:00.000-08:00

mommy is sick.

2009-01-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

on the road home.

2008-12-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

still being cute. real cute.

2008-12-23T14:33:00.001-08:00

happy christmas owl wreath.

2008-12-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

I am really proud of my front door wreath:

I've had this vine wreath for a long time and really love it's versatility (aka it's like the blank canvas of wreaths).
I wrapped some leftover fir from Christmas tree trimmings in and out of of it, then hot-glue-gunned some floral moss on one side and the sweet little owl. : ) He was actually a Christmas tree ornament at Target, as are the copper colored ornaments I hung off the fir branches.
Sweet, huh?

It makes me smile, just thinking about it. Leave a comment!

the conservation bath.

2008-12-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

a hat I made for Isaiah.

2008-12-15T17:20:00.001-08:00

more mama love.

2008-12-15T07:06:00.001-08:00

mama love.

2008-12-15T06:52:00.000-08:00

I pulled this from some notes from IHOP. It's pretty much rocking my world right now:

D. “Everyman, Everyday Worship” According to this definition, every human being can worship God every day, all day long.

“I…have resolved to make the love of God the end of all my actions. I have been well satisfied with this single motive. I am pleased when I can take a straw from the ground simply for the love of God, seeking Him and nothing else – not even seeking His gifts.” – Brother Lawrence, Practicing His Presence.

E. Even if we don’t love what we do, we love who we are doing it for.
20"So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her." Genesis 29:20 (NKJV)
<interjection: what a love story....I want to watch a movie expound on that a little!>

F. Results: Even the mundane (1) becomes joy, presence, discovery of God; (2) intimacy, constant communion; (3) Power is released.

IV. GREATER LOVE

A. How did Jesus define love? Jesus defined the greatest possible expression of love as the laying down of our life for another.
13"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." John 15:13 (NKJV)

B. No one exemplifies this more than mothers. But most feel their offering is worthless, God is passing them by. It is the exact opposite.

my peaceful girl

2008-12-13T08:05:00.001-08:00

Waaaay too cute

2008-12-11T12:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday

2008-12-09T05:29:00.001-08:00

I'm a Baby, I'm a Baby, I'm a Baby!

2008-12-06T17:29:00.001-08:00

please come!

2008-12-04T05:06:00.000-08:00

i will be one of the vendors at this event!!!

i know the details are fuzzy--
Wednesday, December 10, 6-10pm
NoDa's Historic Neighborhood Theatre
All Original Artwork + Live Music + Food/Drink
nodarioty.org

let me know if you can make it!

I should clarify

2008-11-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, when I said I want to hibernate I meant this:
in the winter, it's cold, dry, cracking-skin dry coldness. I really don't like that part. And a lot of the first days of winter I spend wishing I could just stay in bed. Honestly, it's the best place to be when it's cold, yeah?
Warm, cuddly, and with a humidifier going on the nightstand you won't dry out. So I think it would be awesome to fatten up on pumpkin pie all fall just to hibernate in bed through the snow storms. : )

Anyway, since we can't do that....

Today Levi and I went out with both the kiddos-- something we haven't done a whole lot. I think Zoey just absolutely hates her care seat. She cries about 90% of the time she's in it. Like when I took her for a walk in the stroller with the car seat and she had just had a nap and nursed, yet she screamed a good 3/4ths of the 25 minute stroll. ? I know she'll grow out of it eventually, and I'm counting on it because I love walks....sigh. Especially in the spring. : )

Anyway, we went out with Isaiah and Zoey to look at some houses in Charlotte since we're moving out of our current home come January 1.
It was pouring down rain most of the time and Zoey cried a heck of a lot, but it was a good time. We got to see inside one house and got a few numbers for some others we're interested in. It would be great to actually experience Charlotte's culture a little bit more, and by moving closer we hope to be able to do that.

I need to go to bed but...had to share an Isaiah/Zoey story. First of all, Isaiah loooooves Zoey and is so great at kissing her, loving her, offering her his food, toys, stickers, etc.
And, of course, he's two, so he's very curious. Earlier today I was doing something on the computer about 5 feet away from Zoey who was lounging in her bouncy seat when I noticed Isaiah doing something with her face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her grimace and quickly jumped up to get closer.
Low and behold, Isaiah had just stuck a PENNY in her mouth. THANKFULLY it was just on the tip of her tongue and I grabbed it as fast as momma's grab things that are dangerous (very fast-- like a ninja).
I tried to explain to him how that wasn't good, but I couldn't get mad at him, since he didn't know any better, obviously.
It definitely scared me to realize that he could so innocently put her in real danger!! Mercy, please Lord!

I made this hat for "squishy face" last week, thanks to a tip from Lora! : )

Another picture, just because she is so lovable.

winter

2008-11-19T08:33:00.001-08:00

I wish i could hibernate.

aldi grocery store

2008-11-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

I like to shop at Aldi for this reason and several others: they don't give you bags, you either have to buy theirs or bring your own OR reuse the packaging boxes that their food comes in (available at checkout), you have to use a quarter to get a cart (incentive to bring it back and reclaim your quarter), and it's small-- no wasted space on advertising or cosmetics. Just food.
And so the food is economically priced. It's nice to see HOW they save money. As opposed to Wal-Mart, where prices are slashed, but I wonder at what cost to their employees, providers and quality of products?

thinking about amy

2008-11-16T07:18:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about questions that I can't answer.
I was thinking about friends who go through stuff that I can't figure out...
so naturally I was thinking about my sister, Amy, too.
I have so many, many unanswered questions. So many nagging "what ifs?" that can swirl up into a whirlwind in my mind in mere seconds.

And all I know is what IS.

Honestly, what could have been isn't worth dwelling on.

I may be starting to understand that. To understand that what happened HAPPENED. That it is over.

That answers don't bring peace.

All I know is that what is, IS.
Amy is gone. Everything is different now. It just is. I can't change it, I can't pretend it didn't happen. Sometimes I get really angry thinking about how much has changed. But I hope that that will pass eventually.

I hope I really can understand how to accept what is irreversible and find peace there.

Abortion Clinic Wall

2008-11-14T07:11:00.000-08:00

I cannot even believe this.
Well, I can. But I'm still shocked:

New wall at abortion clinic. on 12seconds.tv

The low wooden fence was built about a year ago, but within the last few weeks this new privacy fence has gone up.

What you see here are some friends of ours praying with life tape over their mouths. This is a weekly event here in Charlotte where a simple, silent life prayer is prayed ("Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America!") outside of this abortion facility.
Sometimes there is also a woman or two who stand without life tape to try and talk to the couples walking in.
Apparently, their presence is making a difference!
Unfortunately for the abortion providers, the presence of the prayers will still be there whether they can technically see those who pray them or not.

Wow.
That's all I can say for now....

Pictures!

2008-11-13T18:53:00.001-08:00

Finally got the pictures from my camera uploaded, so I'm going to be posting a few every day. : )

Isaiah turned 2 on October 17, 2008.

I put him in a very "manly" outfit for his birthday party that weekend.
He got these trains from my parents. Trains are one of his new big loves at this age.... turns out there are all kinds of things created just to fascinate children age 2+.
Like Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder, to name a few. : )

When some of my family came for Isaiah's birthday they got to see Zoyenka for the first time!!

This is getting to be our classic sibling shot.

Oh, sweet family.

Goodnight,
heather

Naps and glory

2008-11-06T17:40:00.001-08:00

Today nap time started out very rough. Isaiah claimed he needed to
poop on the potty multiple times, disrupting our naptime routine and
delaying the inevitable "sleepy time" which was his plan, I think.
He also had a melt down when I left the room, loud enough to keep Zoe
from falling asleep for awhile in the next room over.
Finally he went to sleep and about 30 minutes later Zo popped her eyes
open. I had been resting for maybe 25 minutes at this point and felt a
little refreshed but frustrated that it couldn't have lasted longer.
I sort of gave up at that point and took Zoe downstairs.
Ok I am actually going somewhere with this...
A short while later Zoe went back to sleep and was out for 3 hours
while Zay slept almost as long and woke up cheerful for the first time
in quite awhile!
I was able to make bread, eat a salad and talk with Cathy M. for the
first time since Zoe's birth day! Glory!
:)
Anyway, the rest of my day has been cute-- Levi brought home Five Guys
and Isaiah ran around naked. We're about to enjoy another episode of
The Office. glory, glory.
Two of our beloved roomies who have been out of town for the last 2
months are probably coming back this weekend, making us all very happy.
All this to say I have recovered from the stressful naptime poopy kick-
off.
How was your day?

Zoyenka and mommy

2008-11-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

I cannot even believe I have a gorgeous baby girl.
She is like a dream... and now she looks right at me a 'coos' with her beautiful, peaceful little voice.
Levi, Zay and I are so completely taken with her.
Levi already says that she's gonna be able to get anything she asks for from him. : ) ha! She does have a very convincing cry. You can tell she's letting you know what she thinks.

My dear friend Lora is in the hospital right now delivering her "mystery" baby (they didn't find out the sex). I'm so excited we'll have kiddos just 2 months apart. AND I'm so excited for her that she's done being prego -- since she's gone exactly 2 weeks past her due date just like I did! I know the relief. : )

It's late, I should go to bed.
Thanks for reading. : ) Goodnight.

Zoe holds herself up

2008-10-31T17:58:00.001-07:00

Respect

2008-10-30T19:06:00.001-07:00

I want to always be respectful of my children.
I want to treat them respectfully because they are not any less of a
person while they are small.
I want to respect them because I hold in reverence my God who made
them as individuals-- they have their own destiny, their own
personality, their own style.
I want to respect them even when these attributes differ from mine.

I think that something our culture teaches us is that it's ok to be
rude to children. I'm not exactly sure why but it's almost like
because kids are innocent enough to not understand it's okay to mock
their choices or ideas or how they act.
I'm not promoting child-worship where everything children say and do
rules... But I AM convicted that we (speaking as a parent) only have
authority over our children for a little while as ordained by God, not
because we are better people than our children or because kids are
dumb and adults are smart (after all, Jesus told us that we have to
come to Him as a little child).
As a parent, I really want to carry this responsibility humbly and
love my babies well by showing them the respect that is due EVERY
person.

This is the Dividing Line

2008-10-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

Here are a few videos about what I would consider to be the dividing line in this election: Life.
For those of you who I know love Jesus and babies, this is relevant stuff that should impact how we vote on Tuesday.

Let's be sure that our vote will put to action the beliefs we hold dear and let us not be ashamed when we are held accountable for the values we upheld or trampled under foot in this election!

This first video addresses the importance of the issue of life:

This video pretty much sums it up:

Lou Engle lays the smack down:

"Just like slavery was everybody's issue,
so abortion is everybody's issue."
-Lou Engle

Hmmmm

2008-10-28T18:09:00.001-07:00

My last few picture entries have actually had a bit of text attached
but for some reason it hasn't shown up.
I guess that's a little glitch to work out... I'll just add in the
text in later.
Anyway.
I'm going to put up my first "political" video soon. Check back...

I love....

2008-10-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Lots of butter melting on toast.

Yellow and red leaves.

Putting my cold feet on my warm Levi when I get in bed.

My babies in cute sweaters!

Wearing my button up boots.

It's fall, ladies and gentlemen, and I'd like to know what some of your favorite autumn memories are as well as your current pleasures. : )

P.S. I'm still waiting for my blood to thicken as it feels INCREDIBLY cold in the wind at 40 degrees right now! Not cool!
So that's why I need some reminders of fall's "good side."

Latest Sibling Shot

2008-10-27T19:24:00.001-07:00

Isaiah is still loving his "bobby" (baby) "woah-wee" (Zoe)!

Zoe, however, has recently come into contact with the bumps and bruises associated with the role of little sister. :/

I don' think Isaiah has done anything hurtful on purpose-- balls have a way of getting a little out of control when flying through the air, and he's not exactly concious of what all his limbs are doing all the time. : )

Zoyenka does look pretty concerned in this picture, doesn't she?

Anyway, I'll try and get a good 'beauty shot' soon....

I'm going to bed now, and am awefully thankful to be able to at 10pm! I guess we've fallen into a bit of routine-- both of the kids sleeping quite well at night and not (usually) waking before 7:30am.

In a lot of ways I feel like having a second baby is way easier than just the one. /peaceful sigh and smile/ I know I'm blessed.

P.S. I would like to clarify that when I say my kids are sleeping good at night I mean that they don't wake up at 2am and want to play. They still wake up at 2am -- Zoe to eat and Isaiah to climb out of his bed and into ours -- but it is of little consequence in my mind because they go right back to sleep and so can I. : D

Zoyenka vegging out on mama's milk

2008-10-27T10:51:00.001-07:00

Blogging Mobile

2008-10-27T07:25:00.001-07:00

This is a test for my new phone-email-to-blogger thing. I will update
way more with this-- including pictures!! :)

Sent from my iPhone

Got My Bangs Trimmed

2008-09-26T19:04:00.001-07:00

So at the request of several people, here is a picture of my hair, aka "new" haircut.
It's not a dramatic change, but my bangs needed a facelift and I now have some pretty sweet layers.

And here are some new pictures of Zoyenka! : )

She has some pretty intense eyes, and she can really furrow her eyebrows up. Isaiah doesn't understand yet that she isn't mad at him when she looks at him that way and he'll kind of whimper and point at her eyebrows when she does. : )
Aren't her cheeks simply delectable? Don't you just want to eat them?
I think her hair may turn blond or a lighter color because her eyebrows and lashes are light, light brownish blond.

BABY GIRL!

2008-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

Again, my regularly updated blog goes down the shoot-- but with very good reason this time!!
: )

Zoyenka Aulana Bethune was born Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 5:15am.

Here are some shots of life today-- one week from birth day.

Sweet glowy moments.

Real life juggling.

Still time for just Zay and mom to hang out.

We have been swaddling Zo since she was born and I would just like to take this opportunity to promote a little dvd called "the happiest baby on the block" to you all...
basically, it has saved my sanity. Zo sleeps much better than Isaiah did at this age. Granted, each child is different, but just watch the dvd and see if you're not convinced it will work wonders in your newborn's life.
It doesn't just teach you how to swaddle, it teaches "5 S's" to soothing babies from 0-3 months, often the hardest time to figure out what your newborn needs.
So far I have never been unable to soothe Zoey and calm her down using the S's, if not to sleep, at least to a calm wakefullness.
It has been SUCH a confidence builder in being able to take care of her and rest well at night. : )
Ok I'm done.

wow!

2008-08-31T16:30:00.001-07:00

I don't know what happened to my previous blogging spree, but it obviously ended! : (

Here's what I had for a snack today, tomatoes with fresh basil pesto, salt and fresh ground pepper:

It was so beautiful! Hahaha.

Anyway, it is August 31 and our baby is still inside my belly. So I'm assuming he/she just isn't ready yet. OR I'm not ready, but I think I am.
It's weird thinking about going into labor again and kind of knowing what to expect but realizing it could be really different, too.
I'm hoping to be able to relax my entire body better at least during the early contractions. Actually, I'd love to be able to do that the whole way, but if I end up running around squatting and kneeling and finding a new position with every contraction, that's okay too. I'm sure it helps things along, it's just exhausting.

Isaiah is so lovey with other kids, especially babies, that I know he's going to just LOVE having our own baby to hold 24/7.
Here he is with a friend's 4 month old (yes, he is huge for his age).

I've got to run and finish feeding Isaiah dinner. Hope to keep updating here more often! Check back. And check out featherstitch.com

Today has been hard

2008-07-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

I know Isaiah has his reasons. Maybe he misses da (actually I know that's true, but I don't know if it's a reason), maybe his mega-molars are trying to break through, or maybe he senses an upcoming change in the family....
Anyway, he must have some good reasons for the daily fits- falling on the floor kicking- and the regression from coming quickly when I call, from sleeping through the night, from taking solid naps....
But regardless, we are still pre-english communication and so I have little way of knowing what's going on in his little heart and a PRETTY good idea of what's going on in mine.
Some frustration, some disappointment, some anger?, some confusion, and mostly a lot of impatience. And yet over all of this goes love....
I was reading the other day about how God did all this amazing, amazing stuff for the Israelites but a few years down the road they forgot. Or at least they didn't remind themselves consciously, I'm betting it was still somewhere in their memory.
It jogged my memory, though, of some of the really incredible things He's done for me, like Isaiah. I remember the day I first felt I was pregnant. I asked God if I would have babies and I felt Him smile at me as if to say, "You don't have to worry about that."
Suddenly I had this warm sensation that I was holding new life inside of me.
Five days later the pregnancy test said PREGNANT and I cried.
Months and months later, what felt like so long to us, Levi touched our baby for the first time as he came slip-sliding out. Isaiah's first literal touch from another human being was his daddy's hands.
All these things I am so incredibly grateful for.
And at the end of a day like today, when my first baby, a complete little piece of humanity formed from the love of me and my man, falls asleep in my arms and I look at his sweet angel face, I remember.
And I feel love.

my babies

2008-07-24T15:37:00.001-07:00

This is 36 weeks! (or somewhere near there)

Isaiah had a fork in his hand.... it's unrelated. : P

Look we can do the same scrunchy face!

He does this now whenever he knows we're taking
a picture. *cheese*

Life in Pictures

2008-07-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

From most recent events to not as recent:
(enjoy!)

Getting in some last kisses while waiting in check-in line at the airport.

The HopeTakesFlight team getting all the details straight.
Levi's bag weighed 1.5 lbs less than the limit.

I thought this was a funny view.
I'm holding Zay and I can barely see my feet
below my belly....He doesn't understand
when I won't hold him, but it's getting pretty
hard to maneuver two babies these days.

"Chapter one: daddy's picture in his passport.
Next page....the stamp from my first trip out of the USA."

Last but not least, Muffin at 35 weeks.
Hanging out and probably the most comfy of us
all right now. : )

This is my newest creation.
A tote bag from a pillow case
with a quilted kite and real string
appliqué.

Not the picture I want to post in my shop,
but it gives you an idea of what I've been working on!
It's about size 10-12 girls. Stretchy waist band and
raw-edge hem.

Isaiah in his Peter Pan's "Lost Boy" costume!
I made the pants for him and rubbed cocoa powder
on his shirt and head band for dirt. I think he looked
awesome. ?

He's really figuring out what posing for a picture
is these days.

Leaving for Michael's bday party!

Here's our playgroup. All the kids are
in costumes, willingly or unwillingly,
to celebrate Michael's (to my right)
1st birthday.

After the group shot.

Just a random day getting ready for our morning walk.
I had to get a picture of our matching shoes, though.

That's a lot of what we've been up to the last few weeks. Other than the norm.
I go back down to Rock Hill for my midwife appointment and another ultrasound on Monday. I'm not too excited about the drive (its like 25 minutes) but thankfully it's only about 6 more weeks! I might even try and skip out of a few appointments. : )

It is now 8:55pm, Isaiah's asleep and the kitchen is relatively clean. I think I'm going to head upstairs maybe go to bed early.

3 and 1/2 hours to Delhi, India

2008-07-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

Levi left for London yesterday. If I'm doing all the time change calculations correctly, he's now in the air between London and Delhi. ! I wonder what all that flying feels like....what he's doing. Hopefully sleeping a lot. : )
Anyway, the day before the HopeTakesFlight team's flight left we all went up to this little retreat house on a farm half way to Raleigh (where they flew from). It was really sweet and chill and nice to just hang out. The next morning Levi, Isaiah and I left early for the airport to try and do all the customs paperwork for his camera equipment. It was a HUGE headache. We got the the airport, Levi carted all his stuff in, and while Isaiah and I sat with the stuff, Levi ran around talking to about a half dozen different people trying to figure out where the customs office was. I kept watching him go out one door and come in another, each time with this "who knows?" look on his face. Apparently he got a different story every time!
Meanwhile, Isaiah was a handful because he hadn't taken a nap. The only thing that he wanted to do was either a) run around or b) throw his ball around. Neither of which were good for an airport, obviously. So that was hard....it was not what we had been hoping for. We wanted to spend some fam time together before Levi left watching the airplanes take off, but alas, there were no windows facing the runway that we could find! : (
Ok, so the final straight scoop on the customs office: it was located about 10 minutes away from the airport! Once Levi found that out he rushed us over there and then *phew* sat in a calm little waiting room filling out a few sheets of paper and letting the officers inspect his stuff. It took about 15 minutes. It was such a nice change from the busy airport. Isaiah played with a ball the whole time. : )
Back at the airport the rest of the team met up with us and we all sat around for a while. Isaiah was being mischievous and entertaining everyone. Sigh. Time to go home. Levi walked us out to the car. It was like the first taste of missing him and I felt torn.
Deborah, who had come along as my angel : ), left with Isaiah and I to help with the driving.

I'm so glad they are on their way!!

So much of this adventure is new to me....the preparation, the leaving, and now the "holding down the fort" or whatever you call it when I'm at home with Isaiah for 2 weeks.
The next few days I plan to just rest. Isaiah NEEDS to catch up on his sleep if we are going to remain sane and happy people! ; ) I'm exhausted right now. A nap dawns on the bright horizon. "Hope Takes a Nap"

I'm sooo excited to talk to Levi with Skype. I don't know how soon that will happen and I have yet to find the charger for the audio head set, but I can't wait!

Ok that's all.

Levi's leaving for India in 2 days

2008-07-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a while.
What's been happening....
-Bekah moved back to Fort Mill. I first met her as an intern with TheCall when we moved here over a year ago. She moved away and now she's back, working for Bound4Life. Happy!

-Levi is running around like crazy to get ready to leave for India. I'm trying not to think too hard about how much I'll miss him! I think the time will go by quickly, though, and I am not anxious about it at all, I just know I'll miss him. :/ There are so many, many wonderful friends here who keep offering to help me while he's gone, it's so awesome.

-ALIAS has been the new tv show series around here. Meaning, at least 4 or 5 episodes in a row run on the weekends. I don't have time to watch them all so I end up catching random dramatic scenes while making food for Isaiah in the kitchen or something.

-I talked with the lady from Morningstar who's been like a counselor for Levi and I since Amy died. It was really good. It's nice to know someone will check up on me and specifically ask me about that specific topic.

-I'm really tired and it's past my bed time soooo I'll stop, but I wanted to post at least *something* since it's been a while. Goodnight!

I have a short attention span.

2008-07-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

I can't really sit for a whole movie anymore.
I think Isaiah's short attention span has worn off on me because for months and months after he was born (actually, to this day) I couldn't sit through a whole movie with him because he'd fuss or start needing attention. Of course that makes sense, I'm not upset about it, but I can tell it's affected me. I don't expect to sit for 2 hours staring in the same direction and so when the opportunity presents itself I find myself struggling to focus after about 45 minutes.
That's just a random thought from Heather at 10:10pm Sunday night.
I'm eating maggie moo's ice-cream. It's chocolate/vanilla with cookie chunks -- really good. I've been having some reflux lately, the baby is definitely putting more pressure on my stomach. I hear dairy products sometimes help. That's my best excuse for ice-cream at this time of night... *sigh*.
So here's another random thought: I once heard that immigrant women (to America) considered themselves very fortunate if they DIDN'T have to go to work outside the home. It was like a status thing if you could afford to stay at home and be a full-time homemaker. Kind of an awesome way to think about it, huh? But it totally makes sense!
It reminds me once again how awesome my husband is, not only for always supporting me, but for doing so without question. I love you, babe.
It also shows how silly the whole materialism thing is that it would drive women away from the beauty of giving life to a home and a family only for cold cash. And yet in a lot of ways I see this mindset actually turning in on itself as the all important money is then spent on a bigger house, nicer car, landscaping, hiring an interior decorator, etc.
I'm totally not judging anybody who works outside the home, I have several friends who do out of necessity. I'm just upset with the *mindset* and spirit behind materialism and some so-called feminism that actually screws up the true beauty and essence of womanhood.
Anyway. : P

Here are some new pictures! : )

Isaiah LOVES babies! He asked to hold
Jedidiah, my friend's 2 month old.

I had to watch him every second or he would've
covered little Jed in kisses.

Same day, sporting his favorite converses.

Another love of his, the guitar.
And nudity.

4th of July! First baseball game!!

He was SO good. He stayed with us in the
same seats for 3 hours (this is a huge record!).

Snacking on a pretzel.

Watching the ball?

Mind Reading

2008-07-03T09:04:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wish I could read my husband's mind. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to read people's minds when you need to?
I mean, I'm convinced that most of the time people are not thinking what we assume they are thinking.
So, I am trying to change my way of thinking and assuming. Like assuming general goodwill and kindness. So much crap happens because people think other people are judging them, you know? Like highschool cliques and way beyond that.... Think about it.

If you really believed that everyone around you liked you and saw you like Jesus sees you wouldn't you be different?

Realistically, I guess we won't ever read minds, and there are other forces at work that draw out the worst in people, and they do judge each other so....
It's also important to not chalk up our value to what people think. Basically, not caring what anyone thinks.

And you hear that a lot, right? -- "don't care what people think" -- and usually it does nothing to help our confidence because it's not a switch you can just turn off in your head.

I'm pretty sure that every human being wants to feel worth *something* and honestly, something really valuable.

So what I'm getting at is that if we can't base our coolness on other people than we have to get it from somewhere else, and somewhere else that is so big that what people think subconsciously just begins to slip out of our minds, off our backs, etc.

I just get really fed up with those "feel good about yourself"messages that scream "Just don't listen to everyone else!!" when:

a) I'd have to listen to them (isn't that an oxymoron?) to start not listening to people

b) I want, need, crave to be beautiful/successful/loved and I can't get that from chanting to myself, "I'm beautiful, Heather, believe me, you're a doll" you know? : )

I honestly don't know what it looks like to 100% really not be impressed by the thoughts of other people because you believe so strongly that the One being who made everything perfectly is actually personally interested in you and tells you exactly how valuable you are.
But I want to.

32 weeks

2008-06-29T10:09:00.001-07:00

This came in my email update for week 32 (as of Friday):

hooray!! so cutesy!

This outfit made me feel amazing. Monique gave me the idea...

Isn't it adorable? : )

You know what 32 weeks means....8 weeks to go!

Virginia Vacation 08

2008-06-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

So, we took the trek to VA (6 hours) in our "new" vw van! Levi fixed it, like a genius, and we enjoyed every minute of the windy ride.

Next time, I'm bringing a serious spandex headband.

Very nice!!

Picked this up from the Bethune grandparents.

He LOVES it.

I guess I didn't take very many pictures...bummer.
But here's a lot of us girls at the annual Crane Family Reunion.

Ok Isaiah was definitely the best dressed man at the whole thing.
I bought the shoes, but otherwise, all was given. And it's all baby gap
and ralph lauren. woohoo!

My mom said that anytime I'm pregnant on vacation week
I get a free pedicure. Yipee!

After vacation, out at my parent's house.

The little wooden chair behind Zay
was won by Josiah when he was two at the
county fair. : )

THIS is my baby brother!
And an amazing castle he built.

The drive home was cool and uneventful.
Cookies.

No wait, this picture was eventful.
I am super proud of it!!

June pictures of Isaiah

2008-06-10T18:48:00.001-07:00

This is his new swim shirt and knock-off crocs. Just in time for the beach...

He's very proud of them, especially the shoes. He can put them on all by himself.

Lovin' his sippy cups.

New jungle-gym in the backyard!!

From the top.

Today's tears

2008-06-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

Today is a centering sort of day.
I nursed Isaiah down to sleep last night, and then I held him in all of his peacefulness as tears streamed down my face.....Amy is gone.
I woke up this morning with no desire to go about my "routine" but I tried to because Isaiah was hungry and he didn't know any different. On our walk I felt so angry and disjointed - like I was flying in 48 different directions and I couldn't find myself.
Finally around 9am I started crying again and left Isaiah with Levi. Upstairs in our bedroom I wept and mourned as wave after wave hit me. I can't really describe it with words - it is deep sadness.
I feel deep peacefulness all over me with each breath in, and out. I can't control this. I have to let it out. And in doing so I can feel, again, my center....Who I am, what I'm really feeling, what I really need in each individual moment. You know what I mean if you've ever been sitting in traffic with a calmness radiating from within you. You've drawn on a "deep source" beyond yourself.
Last night I could see in my spirit that Abba (Daddy) was holding me, rocking me, and crying tears of remorse with me. He never meant for this to happen. He never wanted to see me go through this. He held my face and looked deep into my eyes, "I'm so sorry...."
And I knew that His heart is anguished with mine.
I've heard people say "He counts every tear" or something to that effect. For the first time I really feel that - the real empathy of His heart!
It touches the deepest part inside of me when I know Him this way....it's like I was going through withdrawal in those frustrating, disjointed moments....it's good to be connected again.

pink

2008-05-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

This is me, after 15 minutes of sun.

Hello? Lines? It was *fifteen* minutes.
So, needless to say, I need to work on my base tan before family vacation!

score!

2008-05-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am pretty much a walking, talking advertisement for Old Navy Maternity right now.
I went there to return something today (which I have to wait for credit for by mail...bummer) and tried on several pairs of their jean shorts/capris and was *shocked* at the wonderfulness.
Honestly, you normally don't find fit/cut/look of these shorts unless you're in Pea in a Pod and willing to drop $100+.
Ok so here they are:

The super special thing about these is that you:
a) can wear a belt! (99.9% of maternity jeans don't have loops)
b) will still have a normal looking fly and button area (again, non-existent on most maternity pants)
c) the elastic inserts barely show under most shirts
c) they are still super comfy because of the stretch material and elastic inserts at the waist

The only con I can think of is that they may not work well late into the pregnancy.... BUT I will test this theory and get back on here to update (it'll be a few months...). : )

As you can tell, I'm stoked. I'm going back to get me a pair as soon as my store credit comes in the mail.
If you are pregnant or know of anyone who is-- these are an awesome find!

P.S. Old Navy also has a pair of "ankle jeans" with the same side-elastic fit as well.

hotdog

2008-05-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm 6.5 months now! It seems really far and yet when I calculate the weeks out I still have 14 to go....a little confusing, but trust me, I did the math right and there are still 14 weeks to August 22.

The good-er news is: THE POOL OPENS MONDAY!
I glanced at Isaiah's floaty in the garage today, hibernating all these months, and happily thought about how much use it will be getting next week!

Some girlfriends and I were talking about sunscreen and one of them said that her dad worked in some sort of chemistry job and growing up would never let his kids wear sunscreen!
I found this article to be really fascinating concerning the sun, cancer and sunscreen. It's not long and medical, just check it out.

I have something (secret) I'm working on in my sewing corner so I'm gonna go and take advantage of Isaiah's nap. : )

newish pictures with captions

2008-05-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Isaiah and Cathy's feet beside the tub when Cathy and her kids came to visit! Isaiah had never played in the tub with friends before.

Walking in our neighborhood at twilight.

He knows this does something cool and that it should generally be held something like this.

This new skill came totally out of the blue...one day last week he just did it!

cooking...

coloring...

loving daddy....

loving to be like daddy...

the end. : ) Love to our families....we miss you guys.

kick kick

2008-05-07T18:48:00.001-07:00

I've been feeling the baby move a lot more over the last few weeks. It's really sweet. Levi & Katie have got to feel him/her too. Just incase you hear me say "he" it's because I get tired of saying he/her. It is not because I have a hunch that there's a little boy in my belly or that I had a secret tell-tale ultrasound. : )

This is a picture of a baby/momma at 6 months (I'm a little over).

I had a really good conversation with my dad a few days ago. It always helps me to talk about Amy and the process of emotions that I'm going through with someone I can have a long, honest talk with. I feel like I'm still working through the reality that she's gone, and it's slower for me because I'm away from home. At the same time, the Lord knows this, and it I feel like it may just be grace that is allowing me to move at this slower pace, especially because I'm pregnant.

Levi came home tonight early!! MS "outpouring" services have been going on for over a week now and Levi's been responsible for the daily update videos, which means daily shooting and editing on top of his normal shooting and editing for the weekly tv show (GodTV). Sigh.
It's been really good but I can tell he's getting tired from working something like 12 hour days. Like Rick said tonight, we still have earthly bodies. We're not in heaven yet!
I've had a lot of peace and grace over the last week+ to go to some of the meetings and stay home other times. That's been amazing (to not feel stressed or pressured or striving).
But back to Levi. I love Levi. He's amazing. And it's so sweet to have him home for the evening.

My really lovely friend Cathy is here for a few days!! Her "babies" John (2) and Halle (4) have kept Isaiah gleefully occupied. He wakes up from his nap today looking for them, and then pointed to them excitedly when he sees them, looking at me like, "Look mom! My pals!" It is super cute. : )

I bought my first batch of organic onesies and am working on some designs for a line within featherstitch called "baby leafos." It's going to be super cute and I can't wait to post sales on Etsy.

the...end. : ) Goodnight.

milky way

2008-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hooray!! I think I just cracked a craving....
See all the sudden I wanted something sweet for the last week, and it's been bad news for my body. A) I know I shouldn't eat too much and B) There is already too much yeast growth going on without any more sugar for it to feed on, if you know what I mean and C) Muffin doesn't need sugar!
SO it was really frustrating me because I couldn't figure out what I wanted tonight, I felt like I was craving chocolate, but not exactly, and not ice-cream, which is usually my first choice.
I'm also relatively full, so craving any food at all just didn't seem right...and then I realized it--
I haven't had much milk around the house for the last week and so I haven't been drinking any or maybe just a tiny bit. And all the sudden I *really* wanted some.
YES.
That was what I've been craving all along (I hope!).
Thankfully Wednesday is my raw milk delivery day.... in the mean time at least I can bargain with my body and hopefully still the false sweet-foods craving.

Ok, the end-- just had to get that down in writing so I won't forget!

a sunny day in photos

2008-04-25T13:26:00.001-07:00

Levi bought me a 'blogging' camera -- small enough to carry in your pocket but better quality than a cell phone. So to celebrate (yesterday) I photo journaled the day....
it turned out to be a pretty busy day and it was SO beautiful, too!

the first picture I took with my new camera.
This was Isaiah when he first noticed the
it and thought he might have a chance to touch it.

And the 2nd picture was when
the off-limits-camera truth was
revealed to him--
"You're depriving me!"

Happy to be outside, surveying
our old neighborhood pond on the
way to his weekly "play date."

The geese swam up to us and
I had to keep Isaiah from running
into the pond after them.

At Michael's house, the host of our
play group. The only reason Isaiah is sitting
still here is the food...

Because, as you can see here,
he is the only one not on the couch
for the group photo...
bummer.

He just chilled on my lap.

Home. Crashed.

So I played with the camera
taking classic myspace photos
of myself...

Awake! : )

Very cute awakeness...

wake up snuggles

I love it when he wakes up happy!

picnic late lunch

he's just got to that stage where
he likes to pull sandwiches apart
and eat out his favorite fillings.

more geese!

we threw his leftover bread to
the ducks and he was so excited
that when we ran out he threw two
carrot sticks and almost donated his
sippy cup to them.

As we were getting ready to
walk home a family came
with a remote-control
motor boat and drove
it around the lake...Zay watches
intently.

On the way home we stopped at
a neighbor's and played in their
backyard. (My feet hurt by the
end of this day)

I sat on Lora's cute blanket...

And last of all...while Levi
took Isaiah on a wal-mart/chick-
fil-a adventure, I went to see my
friend's -24 hour old baby!!

I definitely can't wait to hold
our tiny little munchkin.

munchable

2008-04-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

My husband is really getting into a blogging groove and I can't let my blog grow boring in comparison. Because you know it's a competition to get the most readers... okay not really, I don't even know how to check that sort of thing.

All the men of the house are watching Cloverfield except Isaiah who, sigh, is asleep! : ) The movie watching around here is majorly slanted to the action/action-hero/drama/comedy genre's. Chick flicks or even romances are rare. I'm fighting for it, but it's an uphill battle. Mostly because 99.99% of the movies Levi and I own all belonged to him pre-marriage (read: bachelor!). So this month my goal is to start a list of quality girl movies/romances. I'm also looking for suggestions!! Please leave a comment with any you can think of.

Today was kind of a hard day for me. I had my first appointment with the midwives group I'm planning to deliver with. At 7:30am (yeah, that was not my choice of timing). Then, my alarm went off late, or I slept through it....either way, we woke up late, and didn't have time to drop Isaiah off at the babysitters. So 99% of the time I was there filling out paperwork or repeating back to the nurse what I had already put in the paperwork or finally meeting with Norma, one of the midwives, Levi was outside circumnavigating the building for the 47th time with Isaiah, the ever toddling toddler. Needless to say, that was not what we had planned. Two and 1/2 hours later I emerged, tired and a emotionally drained from telling the nurse and midwife about Amy's recent death. I had wanted them to know because it's definitely a huge deal right now as far as my emotional health but it was hard explaining everything, and to a complete stranger. Please pray for me. It's been a month and this is hard. I miss Amy, and even though I've accepted where she is and trust the Lord totally, I still miss her and nothing can bring her back to me....

Levi and I are getting more and more and more excited about Muffin (baby)!! I can visualize the baby now and picture myself holding him/her. SO CUTE! I got to hold a newborn baby a few days ago and my heart just m-e-l-t-e-d. I cannot wait to snuggle up to my very own little little baby again. : )

And now, my bigger baby:

a three hour nap

2008-04-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

Isaiah has been asleep now for about 3 hours. : )

Right now I have a load of clean laundry gathering wrinkles in a basket, 3 phone calls to return, and two burnt fingers. I also need to pee. Which is a minor inconvenience as I have to run to the bathroom about every 30 minutes (it seems...). Even one of our male roommates noticed how much I go. : P

It is another beautiful day outside. And I mean bee-e-a-you-tiful. I am trying to soak in all of the sweet spring sunshine that I can before the full throttle, South Carolina summer sun let's loose.
My dreams of frequenting the neighborhood pool are on hold until I attend the Home Owner's Association meeting (translation-- trial for those who leave their trash cans out overnight and the discussion of possible punishment of revoked community pool rights). Apparently there are a lot more rules to living in this neighborhood than we knew about, partially because we're renting and weren't aware of all the "homeowner's" rules.

Anyway, it's been about 6 hours since I started this post and in between the pool paragraph and here Levi, Isaiah and I had dinner with the Mervins (directors of theCause USA) and Levi and I went to see Leatherheads. It's past my bedtime. : )

Goodnight.

baby pictures

2008-04-13T18:03:00.001-07:00

Me and baby

Baby side shot #1

Baby side shot #2

I actually don't look as big as I feel, at all...

19 weeks to go!

(p.s. we haven't found out who he/she is and as of right now we're not planning on finding out... : ))

I'm so proud of him

2008-04-10T19:17:00.001-07:00

from this...

to this!

potty break

2008-04-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going to the women's conference at Morningstar this weekend along with lots of other beautiful women -- including Cathy M, Jane & Mary Z!! God is being so awesome here!!
Since coming back home I haven't been very emotional... I think it's a mix of distance, some numbness (not in a bad way, but just adjusting slowly) as well as peace from the Lord. But during every worship set today the tears came. The Lord is washing my mind with His reality of Amy. He is reminding me that she dances and worships with abandonment before Him. That she is free.
Free. Like He is making me. Free from pride that keeps me from my destiny, free from confusion that clouds His revelation.
For instance, since having Isaiah, a lot of things have changed (obviously)! One of those being the amount of time and "focus" I can devote to specific worship/preaching at conferences like this one this weekend. Sometimes I would find myself kind of resenting Isaiah's behavior for making me leave early or miss parts or leave when worship was "really good."
But tonight I felt this amazing breakthrough as I took Isaiah to the bathroom during this beautiful worship song and this intense atmosphere of freedom. What I realized was that I am channeling the heart of God as a mother to my son when I take any time necessary to be with my him and meet his needs! I realized that I was experiencing how God feels about me in that He loves to take "time out" to meet my needs whenever and wherever! I am not "missing out" on anything spiritual as I invest in my son and instill in him just how precious he is to me and the Lord!

Amy Hope

2008-03-30T17:30:00.001-07:00

Obviously, grief doesn't know time. This last week hasn't exactly flown by...it seems like my last post was from another life time.
I wrote it just a few hours before I heard about my sister Amy.
I just wanted to post briefly today to thank anyone reading this who has been praying for us and supporting us in any way. We needed you and you came through, overwhelmingly so. We know you are still there for us and feel exceedingly blessed. Your prayers have been and continue to be this beautiful covering over and around us. God has been so gracious to us and we feel His love and comfort constantly. You are a part of that. Thank you.

Here we are, home again for just a few hours. It's hard being away from my family, but Isaiah helps me a lot just by needing me. : )

As a footnote I would just like to put out there that Levi and I are heartbroken, but not despairing. We have so much hope and trust in God right now, it can only be explained as supernatural. I say this just because I know everyone grieves differently and I do not do so well in large crowds, so if you were worried at any time that I am not truly grieving, or holding anything in, I assure you, I am not. I cry a lot. But with peace.

still sunny... and recycling.

2008-03-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

People are out mowing their lawns today.
My neighbors have fresh flowers out in the front yard just waiting to be planted....
It really feels like early spring! Hooray!
I have the front and back doors open and the breeze wafting through the house is SO refreshing!
Can you tell I'm over winter?

Right now I'm trying to sew Isaiah another clothe diaper cover since I either shrunk or he grew out of most of his other ones. : ) I found this adorable fleece at Hancock Fabrics (Walmart doesn't sell fabric anymore! :/) and hope to get at least two covers from it.
The covers are actually really easy to make. I found a pattern (which I had to adjust some) here. You will be taken to a google page, click on the top link, download the file, and print it out.

Featherstitch.
My very own little store online of textile goodies.
Also check later this week for updated items like a green star, raw-edged bag made from recycled fabric, an amazing flowery apron with front hoodie pocket, and more!
My clothes feature recycled, vintage style fabric -- and there's only one of each.

Also enjoy SeaLion Vintage and LoveMa, two of my friend's online shops. : )

* * *

Next week-- whatever's on my mind. Probably a good recipe, and a fresh story of Isaiah's cuteness. : )

sunny days

2008-03-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

The weather here has been, for the most part, acting like Spring is coming!
Isaiah and I have taken up morning walks again and since our neighborhood is constantly under construction Isaiah always has some big truck or dirt-encrusted manly looking vehicle to stare at. He has just started being interested in "big trucks" and it's so cute to watch! : )
He also likes to look at the geese that congregate in the empty grassy house lots.

Usually when I go for walks/exercise I feel like I'm just waiting for it to be over. I try to convince myself that I am getting a good workout even if I know I'm taking too many shortcuts.... BUT as of late I have felt absolutely energetic. I would not make this up, and I know it's not just mental, because I am not one of those "love to exercise" by nature kinda girls. : P

So what do I attribute to this new-found extra bounce?
I know I may sound like a loony but I sincerely think it has something to do with Cayenne Pepper. Honest.
I started taking cayenne (as a loose powder) mixed with a little juice in the morning (on a full stomach and followed by more food/drink). My belly starts to feel warm after it goes hot down my throat.... and it feels good!
Anyway, I read up on all the benefits and decided to give it a try about a week and a half ago... mostly because it was supposed to help keep you warm (yes it does! : ) and increase energy.
These are a few more from the website MoreThanAlive.com:
“Cayenne regulates blood pressure, strengthens the pulse, feeds the heart, lowers cholesterol, thins the blood, cleanses the circulatory system, heals ulcers, stops hemorrhaging, speeds healing of wounds, rebuilds damaged tissue, eases congestion, aids digestion, regulates elimination, relieves arthritis and rheumatism, prevents the spread of infection and numbs pain.” And I wouldn't want to fail to mention: cayenne (and probably any other hot pepper) keeps intestinal parasites away.
(And is completely safe before, during and after pregnancy.)

So that's my story for today.

Next time: starting a recycled-clothing business with my awesome friend, Ashley!!

And after that: more videos of Zay. : )

oops.

2008-02-29T19:14:00.000-08:00

So Levi reminded me today that I haven't posted in "a while" but I had no idea it had been months!

Ooops.

I'm actually up past my bedtime and pretty tired. BUT very excited about the possibility of an ultrasound next week!! This would help us determine the due date and whether or not there is one baby or two. : ) I would be soooo excited to be carrying twins!

Once we find out I'll post again, longer.

night.

waiting

2007-11-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

We're waiting for the right house to come along, at the right price, with the right amount of bedrooms/bathrooms.
I'm actually surprised at myself at how relaxed I am about it. I mean, the temp. house we're in right now is over-crowded and messy, but knowing that it's temp. and there is no point in unpacking the unnecessary stuff has me totally chill. So it's messy, so it's a little dirty on the kitchen floor...in our old place (which we thought was more long-term) this would have got on my nerves because it's supposed to be "home sweet home" and my place of peace. It's not that I like the way it is here, but I do like the peace I have with its condition! : )
I can't think of much else to write about other than: food.
I made a corn and ground beef soup last night with curry! It turned out really yummy. The base was milk and sauteed onions, celery and apple (diced). Then I added the corn and beef, heated through, then seasoned with salt and curry.

goodnight.

sweetness

2007-11-11T07:09:00.000-08:00

I took Isaiah to the 'hannah and samuel' (1 Samuel 2:18 "But Samuel, though he was only a boy, ministered before the Lord.") intercession set at ZHOP last week...he loves it! It's great for me, too, because he's pretty much free to roam the prayer room(burn energy!) and meet new kids, bang on drums, wave flags, etc. Yesterday he walked around almost the whole time and once he found the flags, put one in each hand and teeter-tottered around waving them happily. : )
It's also a sweet time to be in the presence of God. Yesterday as the set was starting I started singing to the Holy Spirit, "Come and minister to me..." and this incredible revelation came to me. It may or may not be revelation to you, but it was a huge eye-popper for me. : )
Basically, I realized that God comes to us FIRST. He has always come to us before we have come to Him.
>In fact, if He doesn't come and minister to me first, I cannot minister to Him.<
Sometimes when I'm in the prayer room I immediately try to jump into that place of ministering to the Lord before I have asked Him to come and minister to ME.
It isn't selfish for me to ask Him to come to me. What jumped out at me in that moment yesterday was the fact that this "me first" thing is actually a spiritual law. "We love Him because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
Follow my train of thought...
If God loved us first, than He gave first, He initiated.
We, in turn, loved back. BECAUSE He loved us. Not out of something we mustered up inside of ourselves. Not because we noticed Him off in the distance and thought He was worthy. The only thing that caught our attention enough was His consuming love, filling us, and then we could let it overflow back to Him.
What I was feeling yesterday as I muttered this little "come minister to me" song to myself was this deep, deep longing in my heart to be desired and pursued. To feel the presence of my Daddy sweeping in around me as I sat motionless on the floor. Doing nothing but asking.
So often I wake up and make a mental list of the things I should do that day, including how I should "minister to the Lord." Now I realize that if I would just sit on the floor and wait, I would receive, so that I could give.
I don't know...it sounds so simple once I say it, but it was so profoundly beautiful as it actually happened to me. Most of the time I'd say I spent being loved on by Jesus, and I gave a little back. But I'm okay with being outdone. : )

In other news:
Isaiah is growing more and more confident in his walking skills. He still teeters and looks a little drunk sometimes, but he is SO determined! I'm really enjoying it because I can let him walk more in public -- as opposed to crawling -- without worrying about dirty floors.

Levi and I have been brainstorming about places we want to take the Zay-man when he (Levi) has weekends off. So far...zoo, children's museum, park....?
It's such a fun game, being a little family. : )

time for a new post

2007-11-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

We found out yesterday that we have to leave our condo and move down the street into another (very similar) condo. Except for: a) working dishwasher b) stairs
I am exceptionally excited about the dishwasher. I've been fantasizing about life with this magic machine.
I hope that the next person to live here is into striped walls, or at least that the owner gives them a chance when he renovates the house to sell. .... kinda doubt it though.
We watched "License to Wed" tonight, mostly because I wanted to and I wanted to because it had Jim from The Office in it. So not worth it. Besides, it's weird to see him paired with someone other than Pam. : )
Two major recommendations before I head off to bed:
a) Love and Respect (an awesome marriage book)
b)The Happiest Baby on the Block (how to soothe your newborn...I discovered it too late, but it looks amazing)

goodnight.

crank-shaft

2007-10-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

A crank-shaft is what we call Isaiah when he wakes up too early from his nap.
Like today.
I have included a demo video so you can sympathize with me...he pretty much did this from 4:30 in the afternoon until he went to bed any time he didn't get his way.
Ahhhh, the hard life of a 1 year old.

Today Levi taped a line on the floor marking off a corner of the living room where his special stuff is. Or, Isaiah's "no fly zone." We point to the line on the floor and say "no" and sometimes he makes the right choice.

I love our little man and his long little hairs to death, so all of this is totally worth having a baby, but it is definitely a c h a l l e n g e some days...more than others. : )

Recently around town we've heard there is a rumor that Levi and I are expecting another baby. News to me! : ) I laughed so hard when I heard it, considering I *would* be the first to know, it's not exactly the kind of rumor you expect to get out without you starting it...

Sorry, I'm going to have to wait till Levi gets home to upload the video.
In the meantime, a true snapshot of the days emotions:

sugar baby

2007-10-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Anytime Isaiah is away from me for any length of time (ie like this mornging when daddy took him out for "manly time") I have a renewed sense of how precious he is to me!
When he comes home and reaches for me my heart melts all over the place.

I am eating a no-bake oatmeal and cocoa cookie. They are my favorite right now. We cut the sugar in half and they still taste amazing.

I'm on an exercise video kick right now. I've scoured my library and Amazon.com for belly-dancing fitness dvds. Alas, my library doesn't have any, so I settled for the "Mommy Baby Body Builders", "Cardio Pilates", and an intimidating tae-bo dvd.
I am really set on trying belly-dancing, though, and don't laugh! It's actually a really good workout for women, traditionally practiced (in part) to strengthen women for childbirth.

Oh my gosh!! I just got a call from a painter-friend who is hooking me up with an art show in North Charlotte. I have some "stuff" I've been making off-and-on for about a year or two now but this will my first actual setting-up-a-booth-and-selling event. : )
I hope to have stuff up on Etsy.com (the most addictive craft website ever) soon as well. But I'll let you know when that happens.

Ok then, I'm off to make something....

going home

2007-10-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

you walk into the room/
there's a fire burning warm and bright/
open up the door/
there's a room where they're waiting for you/
and you will feel so at ease/
you will know you're/
home.
[credit: a song i heard once]

Tomorrow morning, in the barely light crispness of early fall, we'll climb into the car with the luggage and coax the doors to close up around us.
So we can drive. Home.
I have big plans of: smiling a lot, huggs, lounging on familiar couches, eating delicious food I didn't cook, holding hands with my ever-present husband, and letting everyone else entertain Isaiah. : )

baby talk

2007-06-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling a lot recently with Isaiah's "demands." His little will seems to be making itself known more and more these last few weeks and it's been...challenging. : )
Needless to say, I'm realizing that I really have to search my heart here...what I mean is, when he does something irritating, like, start wailing the minute I put him down, I have to really examine my heart because my gut reaction is to be like, 'just be happy, be quiet, why are you bothering me with this loud noise?'
And sometimes he may just need to be quiet and happy without me holding him, this is true, but I want to make sure that my reaction to him isn't just frustration or...of course, pure selfishness!
Woah! Selfishness meets selfishness maybe? Weird, I never even thought of it that way until just now...
What I'm realizing is, when Isaiah fusses and I feel it is unnecessary that he fuss (ie he could be happy if he just wanted to!), if I am irritated just because he is inhibiting me from doing what I want to do than aren't I possibly just being selfish? And why is my selfishness more justifiable than his?
Maybe I'm the one who needs to just be quiet and happy! Ha!
But anyway, tonight as I was walking him to sleep in our dark bedroom for the second time in the last 30 minutes, I remembered my first post here and how much I really love to be "needed" by Isaiah. I was reminded, by God I'm sure!, that Isaiah really does need me to fall asleep soundly, to be well fed, to be happy and loved. And I sigh. With happiness and contentment.
It really is good to be needed. And it feels way better to see my relationship with him that way rather than feeling just pulled on and fussed at when I don't mean his "demands." Someone else reminded me today that crying IS his only means of communication, it's not like he can say please and thank you just yet. : )
So, I just needed to get that down in print...to help me remember, when I need to be reminded again...maybe tomorrow.

Other things....
Isaiah and I have found wild blackberries. A lot of blackberries! I think this makes me really happy because I found free food, and it brings back memories of picking berries as a kid.

I got to model two wedding dresses for a brand new wedding dress designer last week! I got my hair and make up done at a really sweet salon and then we took pictures in the gardens at UNC. So fun!

We've recently discovered that Isaiah LOVES animals-- at least dogs and cats. Today I took him to my friends house with a big orange cat and Isaiah scooted -as fast- as he could across the floor, grinning and grunting, trying to chase the cat down and grab it!

Autumn had her baby today!! and I was in the waiting room with Beka and Rebecka and it was so exciting. The night before we had all been hanging out, eating spicy food (Autumns idea to get her labor going ;) and talking about how there really is a baby right inside her belly, just about to come out!
Samuel John came out with dark hair and his mommies sweet eyes! I couldn't believe how much he looked like Autumn. After I held him and I went back to Isaiah I figured Samuel is about the size of one of Isaiah's legs. No joke. Samuel is only 6 lbs.

I hope to post pictures really soon!

Granola....and the rest of today

2007-06-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

A few highlights of the day (oops, I saved this as a draft about a week ago, so it's a little old):

-This morning I took Isaiah's diaper off so he could air out after all night...you know. Anyway, he scooting along behind me as I dropped his wet diaper off in the laundry room, but as I turned to leave, he didn't follow. I turned off the light and beckoned him to follow, but he stayed in the shadows a few minutes before coming behind me. I went and sat on the floor in the next room to finish something I was working on...in comes little Zay...scoot, scoot, and I pick him up and...look down to see streaks of poop on my shirt.
So of course I check the floor...or rather the TRAIL he left on it!
Ah! He had stalled in the laundry room because he was leaving a big pile! (insert grossed out sound effects)
So, I cleaned him off in the tub, put a diaper on him, and then deposited him in his crib while I applied carpet cleaner to the floor. He's not in his crib very often, it's more like a play-pen then a place to sleep these days. So anyway, I'm cleaning the floor when it occurs to me that he may be able to stand up in his crib (he's been trying to for a few weeks).
Sure enough, I run in to find his little hands gripping the railing and his chubby little legs in a semi-confident stance. : )
"Oh baby!"
He grins at me and waves one arm in the air, then reaches for something behind him, looses his balance and goes down with a bang. He's so tough though, he just looks up at me, I smile, and he goes on with no tears!
I sat him close to the railing again, this time with it at it's full protective height (so he can't fall out) and he hoists himself right back up again. Naturally, being the classic first time mommy, I whip out the camera. : )
Once Levi loads them on the computer for me I'll have some up here.

That completes my Isaiah stories for the day. : ) (So if you're reading this because of him, the rest will not interest you!)

Other events:
-I found out that "heather" is in the Bible TWICE (King James Version) in Jeremiah, mentioned as a plant "heath" growing in the desert.

-My dad's pro-life ministry, Life Ministries, has a nearly-daily blog! Check it out at http://www.xanga.com/LIFEministries

It's 9.52pm and I'm so tired....goodnight!

this beautiful baby girl is alive...

2007-06-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

"Here is the photo of Jennifer and her baby Portia, and my dad. (They are standing in front of Hillcrest Abortion Center)

Jennifer had scheduled the killing of her child in the spring of 2006 when we (the Life Ministries crew) called out to her outside the Hillcrest abortuary. She turned around and left without talking to us.

A week later she came back and again we called out to her, pleading for her baby’s life and offering her every kind of help. She walked over to us with arms folded across her chest and angrily said, "OK, I’m not going to do it, but I need help." Her voice went from anger to brokenness as the tears began to flow. Linda gave Jennifer a comforting hug as David (my dad) told Jennifer we would help with everything she needed.

Over the next few months we were blessed to help Jennifer through some tough times.

Yesterday, Wednesday-June 6, Jennifer’s dad drove her up beside us and Jennifer jumped out and got Portia out of the car seat and thanked us for helping her. David got to hold precious little Portia, born on December 11, 2006. While we see over 100 babies saved each year, we rarely have moments like this! Praise be to God for what He has done and this encouragement He brought our way!"
~
Doesn't this picture just make you cry? I fell apart looking at this precious little girl who's life was actually scheduled to be ended just a few months ago....
I can't get over how precious Portia is -- and SO adorable! and SO precious! !!

She can say, "My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." (ps. 139)

Amazing!!!!!

one of my heros

2007-05-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness.
-Mother Teresa
~
Congratulations to the Crumrine family! I see the goodness of God in Sara Naomi's face....wow! What a blessing!

You may have wondered what we are doing

2007-05-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

This is an article by Lou Engle, the founder of one of the organizations we are linked with here. This is one of the reasons we are here...and a taste of what we are doing.... -heather

40 Days for 40 Years
There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens, and great revolutions for good or evil spring up in the vacuum created by these openings. In these historic moments key men and women and even entire generations risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing.

The rebellious generation of the 60’s seized its moment, and history crashed into the deep abyss of drug addiction, sexual immorality, hatred for authority, and a rejection of the law of God. 1967 was a culminating and defining moment in that rebellion. In 1967, 100,000 young people, aged 15-25 flocked to San Francisco to experience the hippie movement. This mass convergence was sparked by the hit song, San Francisco, (Wear a Flower in your Hair). Once there, they experimented with LSD, pot, casual sex and Eastern mysticism in what became known as the “Summer of Love.”

When these newly recruited Flower Children returned home at the end of the summer, they brought with them new styles and ideas, flooding the cities of the US and Europe with a message that opposed authority and scorned conservative morals. This counterculture rebellion was fueled by music and art, and it rapidly shifted global culture.

For 40 years we have been falling headlong into a black moral morass in America and all through the west. We are reaping the waves of destruction in every sector of our post Christian society. Can America survive another 40 years? We are declaring NO! A thousand times NO! Unless a massive spiritual shift occurs at this moment our children will live under an antichrist system and Godless enculturation that will bring about the demise of America, as we know it.

But God has a prescription for such a massive shift and it is revealed in the power of the great transitional 40-day fast. God in His sovereign control over the parade of history delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. Longing to release a moral code that would give foundations for righteousness, for time and eternity, God summoned Moses to a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai. In that fast all of history changed and the law of God was delivered from heaven to earth. And if America is going to return to God it must recover that law again as its foundation for truth.

Elijah, at the height of Jezebel’s cultic dominion over Israel fasted 40 days, broke the spell of Jezebel off of his own life and received a mandate to anoint the next generation. That fast unleashed a movement that toppled Jezebel’s regime of hell, which perpetrated the destruction of family, the killing of innocent children, the silencing of the voice of God’s people and the widespread culture of sexual immorality. The fruit of that fast culminated in the utter destruction of Baal worship in Israel.

Also in the fullness of time the glorious gospel era was born when Jesus fasted 40 days and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Clearly the 40-day fast is heaven’s great transitional prescription, moving nations from failure to fulfillment of promise. Is it any surprise that when Jesus was to enter into His great sacrifice where death would be swallowed up in victory, Elijah and Moses appear with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. All three of them were together as the 40-day fasters. They presided over the great transitions of history.

When the Israelites were poised to move into the Promise Land, spies were sent out for 40 days. When they returned carrying an evil report, a whole generation was infected with unbelief and they turned their back on the Promise Land. God’s sentence on that generation was, “And your sons shall be wanderers in the wilderness for 40 years and bear the brunt of your infidelity until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land 40 days, for each day you shall bear your guilt one year, namely 40 years, and you shall know my rejection.” (Numbers 14:33-34) It was 40 years of judgment for 40 days failure.

Conversely the great prophet Ezekiel received a 40-day prayer assignment for a 40-year failure of Judah’s iniquity. “Lie again on your right side, then you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Judah, 40 days I have laid on you a day for each year.” (Ezekiel 4:6) It was clearly 40 days prayer for 40 years of failure.

When Jesus fasted 40 days and was tempted of the devil he quoted from the book of Deuteronomy saying, “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” And again, “You shall not tempt the Lord thy God” and again, “You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you worship.” Jesus in His victory over Satan was quoting the book of Deuteronomy, the portion of scripture delivered by Moses to the generation who failed in the desert. Jesus in His 40-day fast was clearly identifying with that passage of scripture and that generation that came out of Egypt. As an intercessor in His 40-day fast he was fulfilling what a generation had failed in for 40 years.

40 years are up! Could the church of America in a 40-day fast deliver a nation out of a 40-year curse? We have scriptural precedent to believe for such a turning! Therefore, we are trumpeting a call to 40 days of fasting like Moses, like Elijah, like Ezekiel, and like Jesus. We must cry for mercy for 40 days of prayer with fasting for the past 40 years of iniquity, divorcing God in America, embracing a culture of sexual immorality, hedonism, materialism, abortion, and the rejection of Christ in the public place. But we are also calling for 40 days of fasting and prayer for the greatest outbreak of the kingdom power, in signs and wonders, and spiritual awakening in America that will collide with this present darkness and topple its cultural dominion over our people. Thousands went on 40-day fasts in 1946 and in 1947 the great healing revivals broke out. In 1948 the latter rain outpourings began. Bill Bright and Billy Graham’s ministries were born at the same time, and Israel became a nation. Could it be that the 40-day fast preceded this explosion of power by the Spirit? After Jesus’ 40-day fast the scripture says He returned in the power of the Spirit. Yes the promise of Joel 2:28 is that after the fast I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…

40 years ago in 1967 the Jesus Movement broke out, a youth revival starting on the streets that swept across the country, exploding in college campuses and coffee houses. People were being saved everywhere. Now 40 years later we are crying, do it again God, way beyond the Jesus movement!

In 1967, in a war and obviously by the supernatural hand of God, Jerusalem was taken and once again brought under the control of the state of Israel. This was a monumental signpost in the shifting of eras. The dispensation of the times of the Gentiles was now beginning to shift to the times when Jerusalem will become the last days focus for God’s activity in the earth. For 40 days we are joining Israel in a 40-day fast crying out to God that they would see there Messiah and that they would begin to receive their greatest spiritual awakening since the days of the Apostles.

Brothers and sisters, moments like these come only once in a lifetime. To miss such a moment could be to miss the purpose of God for a generation. The generation that refused to cross over the Jordan did not know that they had only one day to make the decision, and missing that day meant 40 years in the desert.

Even now we are receiving reports that other countries are calling 40-day fasts. Could we be in a Global 40-day season of fasting like Jesus to see a global outbreak of light when great darkness is covering the earth? Beginning the evening of May 28th we are calling 2 generations to 40 days of fasting and prayer culminating on July 6th to prepare us for 7-7-07, the perfection of time, in a massive national gathering of fasting, intercession, repentance, and worship declaring we want to remarry the Lord. We want to cross over into the promise land of national revival. We want to break this 40-year curse. May thousands seek God in water, juice, and Daniel fasts from May 28th through 7-7-07, The Call Nashville.

What would happen in America if for 40 days we sealed the electronic cultural sewer that flows nightly into our living rooms and spent our strength seeking the Lord? What if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers across our nation fasted for 40 days repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, pornography, addiction to food and entertainment, and materialism? What if they prayed daily for their spiritual and physical children to see them converted to Christ and freed from rebellion, from addictions, depression, and suicide? What if the young generation fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, media addiction, rebellion toward there parents, believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit would come upon there lives?

Moses fasted 40 days and mentored a spiritual son named Joshua, which means the Lord saves. Elijah fasted 40 days and threw his mantle on a double portion son Elisha, which means the Lord saves. And John the Baptist fasted in the desert and prepared the way for a double portion son named Jesus, which means the Lord saves. Jesus fasted 40 days and unleashed the apostolic glory of the eternal Son of God into the earth. What If we are preparing a generation for the greatest day of salvation in history? And so, what if tens of thousands of both generations fast together and gather on 7-7-07 for The Call Nashville in LP Field, to cry out to God in a Joel 2 moment for great national returning to the Lord?

The parade of history has brought us into a profound generational landmark, and a great vacuum has opened again. If the church does not seize this moment Muslims will! Antichrist rage will! Sexual perversion will! Anarchy will! But now is the time for key men and women, even an entire generation to risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point which determines which way the door will swing in America and in the nations of the earth. Its 40 Days or 40 Years! Seize the Day!

We will be launching this fast with a worldwide simulcast on God TV on May 26th. For all information on the 40-day fast and The Call Nashville please visit www.fastandpray.com and www.thecall.com.

Blog about Isaiah

2007-05-19T13:04:00.001-07:00

Recently Isaiah has been scooting all over the place...just about as fast as his toes can push and his arms can pull.

I am praising God we've figured out a "sleep rhythm" that flows well. If I stay home it works best (meaning= he sleeps more and more predictably) but there is room for flexibility when we go out. He's a really joyful little man anyway, but when he's had his nap-- it's like woah! Happy! Needless to say, this is a big part of why I'm glad we've finally found this "schedule."

Isaiah's favorite spot in the living room right now is UNDER daddy's rolling desk chair. I get a little crazy when I think about his fingers right by the wheels...but alas, he has to be by daddy! He loves to bang away on "his" keyboard (the one that's not plugged into anything) and drool on the cases of video games. Of course cords are fun to explore and paper is the best for munching. : )

Speaking of munching, we're not ready to really "feed" him anything but mama's milk right now, but I've started letting him taste little bits of mushy foods. Like bananas, sweet potato, bread, watermelon....he has been watching us so closely when we eat, always begging with his eyes, so it's so exciting to finally give him some of it! Hahaha. UNTIL he actually tastes it. I think every single thing I've put in his mouth has merited a super grossed-out face. Most everything comes back out onto his chin except, I think, banana, apple and mango.

Everywhere we take him he gets attention for his smiles and intense eye contact. Everyone is always saying how joyful he is or what a good baby he is and, of course, "I bet he never cries!" : )

Isaiah was already born with 15 biological aunts and uncles but in this community here at TheCause it's like he has twice as many adopted relatives. : ) The interns especially are always playing with him or asking to hold him. And of course he looooves it!!

He has also been prayed and prophesied over that he will be a JOYful prophet in the spirit of Elijah from Malachi 4:6 "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. 6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

The same man who spoke this over Isaiah added, "and his joy will never be taken from him." These words are such treasures in my heart....I knew from the womb that he was a joy! Isn't that incredible? God has such insane destiny for each of us...
Also, just going along with that prophesy, when we were in Nashville a few months ago for a Pre-Call Rally, a complete stranger walked up to me while I was holding Isaiah and asked, "Is his name Isaiah or Elijah?" !

Whether you have heard someone speak your destiny over you like this or not, I promise you God has spoken one just as profound over your life since the day you were conceived.
"My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:15&16

TheCall Video

2007-05-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Heart of George MacDonald

2007-05-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

"I do live expecting great things in the life that is ripening for me and all mine -- when we shall have all the universe for our own, and be good merry helpful children in the great house of our Father.
Then, darling, you and I and all will have the grand liberty where with Christ makes free -- opening His hand to send us out like white doves to range the universe."

(to his daughter)

Three Wonderful Things

2007-05-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

1. When I mess up, I feel guilty. I made a mistake...but now I know that SHAME is not from God because shame says, "I am the mistake."
Repeat: I am not a mistake. There isn't anything wrong with ME.
So practically, this means that my screw ups are forgivable, and God is free to keep teaching me...

2. Nothing Isaiah ever does will change my love for him. Not just because he's cute and I get warm fuzzies when I'm with him. I am making a CHOICE to love him, and that choice is unconditional.
However, the way he acts, what he says, how he treats me, etc. will affect how much I enjoy being with him, hanging out...etc. See what that means?
God's love for us doesn't change based on how much we obey Him or how well we love Him back. Nothing we do can change His deep, foundational love toward us!
But if we never talk to Him, disobey, etc. than this will affect our relationship for the worst. I can't really say how much God "enjoys hanging out with me" but from my parental perspective, I truly believe that His heart is touched -- either wounded or ministered to -- by our actions and choices. CrAzy!

3. Isaiah, Levi, my family, friends, chocolate, shopping, the ocean....God's been showing me how all these things are gifts for my enjoyment BUT He is for my satisfaction. Deep down, my soul satisfaction, even my most prominant daily pleasures, can only be from Him. And I'm not just speaking from a theological perspective. I FEEL the void inside of me, and when I run to gobble up a chocolate bar or watch my favorite movie, I can tell I'm just numbing the ache. And after I'm left with the candy wrapper or the rolling credits, the ache comes back and I feel like my best distractions merely scraped at the sides of my inner void.
God is just slowly teaching me this lesson, but it's such a challenge! I mean, this very moment I'm craving His presence, to be filled to overflowing with Him. I know that I really have no idea what the "pleasures of God" really entails, but I'm going after it!!